“Crying”

            Respect the child as an intelligent human being – birth to one year

            The first year of parenthood can be emotional, demanding, overwhelming, wonderful, fulfilling,
    rewarding and challenging.

            Since your newborn knows how to cry the instant he is born and this is going to be his primary
    means of communicating, your main challenge is to really listen to his cries and figure out what they
    mean!

            How are you going to do this? You have to let him cry so you can distinguish what his cry
     means!

            There are four main cries:

            Hunger – accompanied by sucking and rooting.

            Indigestion – this cry may be a higher pitch and he will probably show agitation and pull up his
                                  legs.

            Fatigue – usually will slow down his body movement and rub his eyes.

            Distress – can be a basic need to have his diaper changed or can be the result of being over              stimulated or over tired or teething.

            Talk him through the process while you are trying to figure it out. If you keep your tone calm,
     that will help him respond to you and probably prevent you from becoming too anxious.

            You will be much more successful in satisfying his needs if you give yourself the time to get to
     know him.

            Case Study

            Michael and Carmen have a beautiful infant boy who joins a five year old sister. Following two miscarriages, they are delighted with his arrival and choose to have him share their bed for the first four months (which we don’t advise). During this period, both the parents and the sister are constantly picking him up as soon as he makes a sound. They carry him around or entertain him in some way for every minute he is awake.

            By the time he comes to our daycare at five months, he is demanding constant attention and has developed a piercing cry that escalates from zero to 200 in an instant.

            For everyone’s sake, we begin the transition process by verbally communicating with him regarding what is expected and what will happen. We also set up a play area for him on the floor where he is provided with appropriate toys with visual stimulation and expected to entertain himself for short periods of time.

            After a month, the transformation in this child is amazing. He now has a lower level cry heard only when he is very tired or has a bowel movement. He makes verbal sounds when he is hungry and we are beginning to hear the same sound each time as though he is saying the same word.

           

The biggest change is that, at the beginning, the other children did not connect with him because he fussed and cried so much. Now they absolutely adore him because he is so much fun and they are so proud of his accomplishments.

            When you understand and respect how intelligent he is, it changes everything! As he grows, you want him to communicate verbally not through crying! We will address nutrition, sleep and distress in the next classes.

            Go back to parenting class 1 if you are unfamiliar with our philosophy.

            Talk to you again soon!