Children’s Shoes – A Key Component Of Your Child’s Physical Growth!

This issue has been on my priority list ever since I became a day care provider. I was truly surprised at the approach parents had toward their child’s footwear. The vast majority of children were wearing hand me downs, with little regard to the affect this was having on their child’s physical growth.

It used to be part of the “mother’s code” to never settle when it came to your child’s footwear during their early formative years. Your child had to be fitted professionally so they had the best support for their correct physical growth.

Properly fitted shoes play an important role in how your child’s walk develops. Your child’s foot bone structure and walking comfort play an important role in the way their body develops.

A child needs

1.Proper support.

2.Adequate growth room

3.A style that is compatible with the width and depth of their foot.

4.Frequent evaluation on size. Their feet tend to grow before the rest of their body. Attention to adequate length should be revisited ever week after the first two months.

Clues your child may give you

1.Refusing to put on their shoes even though they were happy to get dressed.

2.Their visibly pushing the toe of the shoe forward or extending over the sole of their sandals.

3.Throwing their foot to the side of the shoe as a reaction to the lack of space.

4.Because feet can swell as a reaction to heat, they may try to take them off after some time outside, actually stop walking/playing or even cry. We had one child stand in the middle of the play yard refusing to move and crying.

I realize shoes are an expensive part of your child’s wardrobe. They are definitely worth the investment. You can have the rest of your child’s wardrobe as hand me downs, but please, not the shoes.

As the old song goes, “The foot bone connected to the leg bone and leg bone connected to the back bones”.

Healthy foot growth is an important foundation to your child’s future. It is worth the investment.

Good luck!

Lets Discuss One Of The Most Important And Frequent Statements We Make Every Day. “You cannot have what someone else is playing with”

Children, by nature, are survivors and are instinctively drawn to satisfying all their needs. This includes having any object they might desire that someone else has. 

This has been true forever and is often already a habit before they even join our day care.

Here are our recommended guidelines.

1.From the beginning there should be objects in their home that are not available to them such as electronic equipment, work related and valuable possessions.

2.Each of these items should be clearly identified and appropriate behavior explained. “This belongs to mommy and daddy, you cannot have it. Please do not touch it.” When they do not listen, simply remove them from the object, do not take it away.

3.They also cannot have items that someone else is using (including phones). “I’m sorry, but you cannot have daddy’s phone. This is not a toy”

4.If they take it away, simple state “May I have that back? You play with toys, this is my phone.” If there is no response, repeat the above. When still not followed, take the phone back from them. “I am sorry, you may not have this” and be firm.

5.Arrange playdates with one other child. It is wise to have that child’s parent agree with you parenting approach so everyone can be on the same page.

6.Do not allow the child’s strangle hold or tears to dissuade you. When that happens, repeat the request three times and then take it away with “I will have to take this away from you. You need to listen”.

You, as a parent, are their most important teacher and influence in terms of your child’s socialization. When a child is not taught at home it makes the adjustment to the larger social influence much harder and can create a situation when other children do not want to play with them.

Your main role is as a loving educator. Their social development begins at home where sharing and caring begin. When you are effective, it makes your child’s adjustment to a larger world so much easier and rewarding. It practically guarantees they will be happy in the larger world they have to navigate on their own.

Prepare them well!

Good luck!

The Results of our One Child Experiment To Control, and Ideally Stop, His Biting!

As many of you know, we shared our challenge and frustration with the ongoing biting habit of one of our new children. We already knew that it was not going to be easy and may be impossible.

We want to note that several changes had already happened. Peter and his parents were already attending therapy sessions for several months. As new parents, they had to learn to know him better and change their interaction with him to achieve a better relationship. They were spending more time with him, had eliminated the rough housing and were allocating more weekend time to activities that would include peter.

All of these changes definitely created a better relationship and a happier Peter, but they did not eliminate the biting totally.

Peter is a high energy, impulsive, super smart child and it was impossible for us to anticipate every move or intention he might have.

I realized I had to find some element or product that would have such a corrective impact that it would deter him from making that impulsive action, but would not harm him physically or otherwise in any way.

The only thing I could think of was black pepper to give him immediately after following a bite. It could have the impact of preventing him from wanting that experience again.

I discussed this situation with Peter’s dad and got complete support from him.

So, the next time that day he bit a child’s hand because he wanted the toy the child was holding, I immediately took Peter aside and filled ½ of a teaspoon with black pepper and fed it to him. I had no idea how he would react.

He was completely silent while working the black pepper in his mouth with a bewildered look on his face. This continued for a minute or so while I stated repeatedly that every time he bit a friend, this is what would happen.

There was one more incident that day and I repeated the process. He had a similar reaction and his expression and comments indicated he now realized that I meant what I said.

Unbelievably, he has not bitten since. What he has done is verbally state the message that if he bit a friend, the result would be a dose of black pepper.

I had also included  in this process that what he did have to do when he was upset or wanted something: he had to use his words!

“May I have the toy please”

He also sometimes acted aggressive if another child infringed on his space, so he had to communicate appropriately.

“This space is mine” “Please move” Or he had the option to move himself.

He has learned to understand himself really well. On several occasions he has suddenly come to me and requested “black pepper”. Likely he was getting the message that he felt like biting and wanted to stop it!

I don’t know if I will ever have to need to take this approach with another child. I’ve only had 3 biters in my many years of caring for children.

I am really amazed at how successful it has been with Peter and how he has been able to monitor himself.

Needless to say, we are all benefiting from this experience and truly believe it could be successful again.

Since no two children are exactly alike, it may have to be modified and hopefully I will figure out what that is.

I hope some of you can benefit from this experience.