Karen is a very committed mother. We have had many
conversations regarding her two year old’s behavior. Jonathan is very
strong-willed and independent and has been a constant challenge. She
understands that these are great characteristics but they need to be managed
for positive results. Mostly Karen been successful, but she is totally stymied
and frustrated by her inability to have Jonathan listen to her.
In our last conversation she reveals that she just had a
five minute mother/son conversation with him. At the end of which she asked him
“What are you going to do the next time I ask you to list?” He responded “The
opposite!”.
As much as she thought that was a highly intelligent answer,
what he is really saying is “I am in charge!”Karen has forgotten about or didn’t register that there are
some subjects you do not have a five minute conversation about and listening is
one of them.
Do
-Make a clear statement to your child. For example: When I
ask/tell you to do something you have to listen!
-Use a stronger tone, without raising your voice or
appearing angry.
-Change the cadence- a short space between each word so the
message is clear!
-Give them fifteen seconds to decide if they want to listen
and if they have not responded repeat the statement exactly the same way.
-After another fifteen seconds, take their hand and have
them complete the request while saying “You have to listen!”
-Be 100% consistent in your requests. Do not change your
mind about what you believe is important.
Do not
-Have conversations about listening, there are no options
here.
-Request that your child do anything that you don’t mean and
will not follow up on.
In my opinion Listening affects your entire relationship
with you child. Be strong and Consistent! Good luck!
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