Why We Believe That Material “Crutches” Create A Strong Probability of Delaying/Reducing Emotional Maturity

Richard has enrolled in our day care and we learn he constantly carries a “blankie”. On one of his preliminary visits his babysitter comes to pick him up and is shocked that the “blankie” is not here, it is obvious that everyone who is responsible for his care relies on it to keep him quiet.

Richard has already been in another daycare so we clarify for his parents that he cannot have his “blankie” at our daycare. We do not support the “blankie” habit at any age and since he is already two years old, we realize this change will be a challenge.

We go into detail with them regarding our opinion. Since we were highly recommended to them, they decide to trust us and go cold turkey. This involves packing up the “blankie” and having Richard dispose of it in the garbage.

His parents describe him as a mostly non-verbal child who relies on whining and crying to get what he wants. We expect a high communication level as we want the children to express themselves verbally all the time. Our day care is not a quiet place.

His parents are stunned that he stops asking for his “blankie” after two days. Over the next two months, he dramatically increases his verbal skills and begins to display more independence. A short time later, he is no longer crying to get his way.

One night a few weeks later, when his dad picks him up, he shares that he always had a dream that his son would be independent, verbal, assertive and fun to be with.

Somewhat emotionally, he says he feels that he finally has that son.

How could one key change, along with the support components, have made such a difference?

1. When children are given the message that they need a crutch to function, they are not being expected to develop their own inner emotional resources.

2.  This crutch environment does not encourage communication, problem solving, conflict resolution or even expressions of caring. 

3. Because, in many cases, children are often sucking on the “blankie”, it may prevent the timely development of their tongue muscles preparing them for speech.

Often stuffed animals fulfill the same role in a child’s world. They are carried everywhere, slept with, and relied on for emotional comfort. Stuffed animals can be a great toy when they are treated as such, and often a great playmate for imaginary games. They do not belong in the child’s bed and are not a substitute for positive and creative interaction with their parents and other children. They belong on the toy shelf.

Your role as a parent is to prepare your child for a successfully future, not insulate or protect them from it. They will need all the coping tools necessary to survive on their own once they enter the education system.

It is a parent’s role to prepare them! Everyone will be immeasurably rewarded!

Good luck!

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