Why It Is So Important To Always Inform Your Child What Is Going To Happen And What Is Expected Of Them!

Amy has just turned 16 months and is already independently navigating her world! Her mom plans to attend a daycare party for a short period of time in the morning, and then return to work.

We are unaware that she has not informed Amy of her plans. As a result, after experiencing the surprise joy of seeing her mom in the middle of the morning, her mom suddenly says goodbye and departs for work.

Needless to say, Amy is upset, confused, and crying. It takes us about five minutes to explain the circumstances to her and assure her that her mom would return at the end of the day. It takes Amy the rest of the morning to really return to her normal comfort zone.

Amy is further surprised at the end of the day, when her parents show up with her grandparents. This is not only unexpected, but she rarely sees her grandparents except on Skype, which for her, is not really a solid connection.

She cries to be picked up by her dad (not her usual behavior) and clings to him the entire time without another glance at the grandparents.

What went wrong here?

Amy’s parents do not realize that she should be informed about both of these incidents prior to that day.

Parents need to inform their children about changes in any routine the prior day, or earlier the same day. They also need to communicate how the child can handle the change.

In the first case, telling her when she was dropped off at daycare that mommy would be returning at party-time and leaving when the event was over, reassuring her that she would return at the end of the day to pick her up would have been ideal.

Additionally, when parting, the mom had an ideal opportunity to remind Amy that she would be picking her up along with her grandparents. She could have reassured her that they are visiting to get to know her better and it is okay if she feels comfortable interacting with them (maybe to read a book ect.) or she can choose to hang out with mom and dad until she knows them better.

Ideally, you have been communicating with your child in terms of new expectations and opportunities in their life. You will gain credibility and trust and they will gain confidence and skill! Good luck!