David, at seventeen months, has begun throwing toys on a
sporadic basis for several days then accelerated it significantly in the next
week. This was without regard for whom or what the object may be hitting.
He was totally ignoring any suggestion to stop this
behavior, nor did he seem to care if another child was hurt in the process.
We also noticed a significant change in his play habits. He
was spending play time collecting and exchanging toys instead of playing
skillfully with them. Mostly the toys he was throwing were those he had
targeted to exchange.
We began his next day by sharing with him that he had to
really think before he chooses a toy because he would be responsible to play
with it for ten minutes. This decision making process does require some
interaction, requiring him to choose a toy he really wants.
He finally decides on a construction roller with a driver
that he selects from the big playhouse. Within a few minutes, he instinctively
looks around the room and starts walking over to the storage area for cars. He
is stopped and reminded of his ten minute play commitment.
He does require a few suggestions i.e. building a road with
blocks that he can repair. He ends up spending twenty minutes on the project
with no additional toys or exchanges. We repeat this process a few times
throughout playtime and notice he has not thrown a toy all morning.
Like all toddlers, he is experiencing new interests and new
skills. He has successfully moved out of a behavior that was completely
unproductive, potentially harmful to his friends, and with no redeeming
qualities.
To be successful with any behavior change, you need to stay
focuses on providing your child with clear directives toward positive behavior
that you expect from them.
Not surprisingly, he realized he was being expected to
follow the guidelines we have for the older children. Some of his resistance in
other areas disappeared as a result of this such as improved sharing and
decreased grabbing and showing aggression to the younger children.
With very little effort on our part, he moved himself into a
new level of maturity.
Always focus on the positive solution!
Good luck!
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