Every parent we have ever met wants to have a smart child and be a smart parent. Raising a child is the most important responsibility anyone will ever have and can provide the most pleasure and reward.

SMART PARENT/SMART CHILD is the revolutionary philosophy that all children are incredibly intelligent from the moment they are born. When parents have learned understanding, respect, highly developed communication and relationship skills and development related expertise, it is amazing what a child can accomplish and, in fact, each child will achieve his maximum potential.

Our mission is to help you achieve that goal. The key to a child's education and success is a skilled, knowledgeable, informed and educated parent.

This blog addresses specific issues, to really be the best parent possible the book is a must!

Thursday, October 5, 2017

Parent Alert! Your Words Are A Message To Your Child Every Time You Speak!

There have been so many instances lately when parents have made statements that are influencing their child in impactful ways that probably contradict what the parent says are the values they are teaching their child.

I have observed and been shocked and saddened when I hear a parent lie to their child:
1. It could be about what time they will be picked up.
2. Where they are going, when in reality they have a doctor’s appointment.
3. When there is a baby sitter picking them up so they won’t have to deal with the child being upset.

The fact that these situations are ongoing is of grave concern the parent not only loses credibility with their child but it creates also great anxiety and possibly leads to the child also not telling the truth.
However, the scene I witnessed over the weekend was infinitely more disturbing for several reasons.

I was enjoying a light breakfast at a popular supermarket when a dad and 2 year old daughter sat at the next table.

Nothing warms my heart more than seeing a dad with a young child. The fact that it was a girl was a little special for me.

The dad had purchases a full breakfast plate of eggs, bacon potatoes and toast. The child had a yogurt with fruit. They engaged in a meaningful conversation while he prepared the fruit by cutting it into small sections. They both began eating.

She noticed that he had bacon and asked for a piece. The dad responded that this was real bacon and she could not have any.

After several more requests the dad relented, giving a medium sized piece with the warning “You can’t tell mommy about this!” while she quickly ate it up.

Predictably, she stopped eating her yogurt and fruit and repeatedly requested more bacon. The dad began rushing to finish eating his meal so he could put an end to the incident. Sadly they also stopped communicating.

Why am I so upset with the scene?
1. The dad told his child to lie to her mother. This is within the family unit which should be “as one” at all costs.
2. The dad probably realized that since his daughter knew how to say “bacon” she conceivable would mention something at home, that he would have to answer for.
3. The dad should have realized that what he had done was very serious and corrected himself by saying “We will have to tell mommy what we did, that was my mistake”.

I did not hear that, but I hope for the child’s sake it happened.  I wonder that if I had asked that dad whether he wanted his daughter to grow up and be honest, he would have responded that he did. He probably would have been hurt if I asked.

But the facts speak otherwise and the facts matter.

Parents speak otherwise and the facts matter!

Parents need to realize that they are the source of their children’s values. Behavioral standards, rules and guidelines.

Every statement matters!

Think before you speak!

Note: A blog will not be posted again until the week of 10/15. My marketing manager is off to take a reol in a feature film. We are wishing him good luck!

Friday, September 29, 2017

Treat Your Newborn As Though You Have Four Other Children!

This is the wise statement of a mother of five! She has effectively communicated what all other parents of several children took years to learn.

That is invaluable knowledge born out of necessity, which was often the only effective way!

She saw that the two most important things were that her infant slept well and ate well. That allowed her to make everything else work.

How exactly does this idea work?

1.Infants know how to eat and sleep. Do not mess it up!
     a.Feed your infant when they are hungry, let them sleep when they are tired.
     b.Do not disturb their natural body needs.
     c.Do not wake them up to feed.
     d.If you are a nursing mom, it is important that you follow the nursing mom’s diet at all times. No exceptions – no treats. You will pay a price for that choice because your infant will probably not be able to digest what you have treated yourself to. It is not worth it.
     e.Usually by three or four months, you infant will be having a shorter morning nap and a longer afternoon nap. Especially in the afternoon, they may sometimes turn it into a catnap by making the sleep shorter. Either let them put themselves back to sleep or if they need help, a tap on the but to their bottom rhythmically will help.
     f.Whatever you do, do not get into the habit of feeding them every time they cry. They can quickly become “snackers”. Every cry is not a hungry one!
     g.They should be on three meals a day and a night feed.
     h.Make sure when you put them to bed they are full and they will sleep soundly.

2.Do not rush to pick them up as soon as they squeak or every cry. They often will settle down and get used to waiting. If they are waking up from naps crying, this often means they are still tired.

3.Do not carry them around when they are awake or provide them with some sort of motion all the time.

4.Keep them in a their home environment as much as possible. Your social life can wait! Nothing takes priority over the needs of your infant!

5.Talk! Talk! Talk! Talk! Tell them what is happening! They will get used to familiar phrases. If they wake up and you can’t get them right away, tell them that. Your voice will reassure them! Introduce them to music, especially by singing to them.

6.Part of the day should be a safe place where they can practice turning over, crawling and pulling themselves up.

7.They need time every day to entertain themselves. Ideally, on a floormat with appropriate toys to entertain and stimulate them. Let them work to reach the toys.

8.Step back! Let your infant show you their personality and skills! They can’t learn when you are doing everything for them.

Just think how busy you would be if you had four other children! So relax and give them some time and space! Sometimes they will have to figure it out.

Enjoy and good luck! 

Friday, September 22, 2017

Listening! One Of The Most Vital Behaviors In A Parent/Child Relationship.

Why are parents having such a hard time being successful at it?

This listening issue is constantly surfacing. Our experiences and observations at the daycare are:

1. Parents rarely follow up on a request or directive they give to their child.

2. Parents have not clearly communicated their expectations.

3. Parents have no agreed with each other on the rule, boundaries and behavioral expectations.

What to do?

1. Both parents must agree on what the rules and behavioral expectations are!

2. Do not give your child any negotiating power when you have communicated their responsibility to follow your communication on a rule or behavioral expectation.

3. Repeat the request in fifteen seconds increments exactly as originally states and firmly state “you have to listen to me”

4. If they are still not responding then assist them in following through and clarify that when you make a request you mean it.

When you are communicating regarding an action or opinion that is not a rule or behavioral expectation, then you can compromise and let them be involved in the process.

This is very different from the first scenario and should not be confused!

You have to understand and respect that your child will know the difference.

They can choose between the red shirt or the blue one for example.

But they cannot choose not to listen to you when you have requested a follow-up or action that you consider a rule. An example is “please clean up your toys now”.

Be clear, be firm and be confident!

You are the parent and your child is not in charge of the values they need to grow up with, you are!

Good luck!

Friday, September 8, 2017

The Infant Stage And All Its Challenges And Wonders!

We are so excited to have an infant in our daycare again!

Anna joined us this week at the wonderful age of six months. She is beautiful and already connecting with a few of the children.

As always, we will be tracking her growth and experiences and probably having more blogs that deal with the infant stage.

One of the most exciting aspects for us is to learn about her unique strengths and also to apply our experiences when she has specific challenges. So every case study will, as usual, reflect on our experiences and solutions with former infants.

She has had a great first six months since both her mom and dad took maternity leave from their work. Consequently, her life has been consistent and privileged so far.

We are already seeing how relaxed and friendly she is with the other children and how they are mesmerized by her.

With an infant arriving in their world, we are seeing how each child has elevated themselves to a new level of maturity. The ones who were hesitating about being toilet trained are talking about “being ready” and the older ones have become instant helpers.

Already we realize Anna is working too hard with her current bottle system that is really designed for newborns. We have made a system change so she will get all the nourishment she needs to grow and sleep well. She had turned into a snack eater and as a result her sleep pattern was too short. This usually can be corrected in a few days. We will let you know.

We are enjoying every day with her and we will keep you updated.

Please send us feedback and questions! You can email us at

Talk to you next week!

Friday, August 25, 2017

Thumb Sucking! What To Do?

This can be a really challenging situation for parents, especially when the child is older.
Let’s start from the beginning, all infants have a strong desire and need to satisfy their natural sucking ability.

Mostly it will be satisfied through the ongoing feeding process whether the infant is breastfed or bottle fed.

If they are breastfed, follow the breastfeeding dietary list they can accept the milk. If they are bottle-fed, make sure they are on the appropriate nipple size so they have to work for their food but not so hard they quit or so easy they are not getting enough sucking stimulation. This period may require some testing until you get it right.

If you notice in spite of this attention to their needs that you child is frequently sucking their fingers or hand, we recommend a pacifier.

This pacifier should only serve as an addition to the stimulation describe above and should only be used following a feeding. It can be successfully used if sleep time also follows the feeding. The pacifier should remain in the crib.

It is never an object that becomes part of their regular awake time or play time. They need to be talking and crying when they are voicing a need.

This can be the ideal option since you can eliminate it once they are into their second year. This almost always works as a preventative measure and rarely do we see a child in these circumstances become a thumbsucker.

However, if that happens or you are in a situation where your child has been a thumbsucker from infancy, what has worked best is to now provide a substitute such as a teething ring in the shape of a hand.

I have recommended this to some of my families who had older children when their younger siblings join our day care. We also use it when we had children who became a biter.

We placed it on a ribbon around their neck and they wore it all day. Our guidelines were “if you feel like biting or sucking your thumb, bit or suck the hand instead”. Depending on the nature and age of the child, success was achieved in different time frames, but it did work for everyone. Even the children who sucked their thumb/fingers at bedtime were successful in using it.

Your child will need a lot of support and trust for this to work.

I am not a supporter of rewards for behavior modification. Accomplishing it is the maturing reward. This is all about taking responsibility and maturing as a result.

Only if you can think of an educational, maturing reward should it be part of the process.

Good luck! Be supportive! Don’t get frustrated, your child will be anxious already!

I am taking the next week off, It will include cataract surgery so I can read more easily and also time to plan my conversations with you in the fall.

See you then!

Friday, August 11, 2017

The Joy, Pride, And Sadness Of Graduation Day.

Our graduates are both excited and sad to leave us and we always feel the same about them!

Each year is unique in terms of achievements and relationships.

The child who seemed so young last year and this year blossomed into a natural teacher. She will be missed the most by the younger ones because she had such a highly skilled approach and connection to them, to their great enjoyment. No one made number games so much fun.

The child who became the organizer and arranged basketball and soccer games as well as reading groups.

The ones who studied the human body and learned the names of all the bones which we would hear them using in conversation.

The group who painted an exact globe on a blue yoga ball!

The ones who were reading at a 3rd grade level!

How many times we have seen a child move to make advanced academic skills as though someone had pushed a button.

The child who organized outside play games such as hide and go seek, Simon says, clue games and I spy. Encouraging every child to stand up and be the spokes person.

The best result comes from the fact that in their last year they play a leadership role with all the other children by being a role model, a trainer, and a supportive helpmate throughout the year.

We have an environment where all age level interact on a consistent basis. This is the best of all opportunities for a child to develop advanced social and leadership skills.

Our goal is to create an environment where each child really believes they can accomplish whatever they set out to do! They believe in themselves!

We will miss them every day, but know they are confident, skilled, and caring individuals who will work hard and smart every day!

We wish them good luck!  

Friday, July 28, 2017

Candy As a Reward At The Doctor’s Office? I Don’t Think So! And I Need Your Help!

I am repeatedly appalled, disbelieving, shocked and outraged when one of my children returns to daycare from a doctor’s appointment with the news that they were given a lollipop (this seems to be the candy of choice) because they behaved during a checkup.

This occurs with pediatric and dental appointments.

With all the knowledge available about the importance of healthy eating habits and the well documented information that not only is sugar not part of a healthy diet, but it can also have an impact on a child’s physical behavior.

I know that periodically some study will state that sugar has little to no effect on behavior, but I am positive that if you poll daycare owners and employees, they will state otherwise.

For example: for days after Halloween, many children are hyperactive and unable to relax and cope and in some cases, are bouncing off the walls. We often see this at holiday time as well.

I realize that this reaction could also be affected by loss of sleep, but sugar input seems to be the bigger factor.

I am calling on all of the parents who are reading this blog to communicate with their child’s pediatrician and dentist that non sugar rewards be made available in their offices and sugar items removed.

Challenge them to be responsible and creative! They could provide:
-A small toy
-A selection of stickers
-Small activities

Both your pediatrician and dentist represent an authority figure in the health care world.

The message they are giving your child by this practice is undermining your authority and practices, as well as telling your child it is acceptable to eat unhealthy food.

Please take a minute to follow up today!