Every parent we have ever met wants to have a smart child and be a smart parent. Raising a child is the most important responsibility anyone will ever have and can provide the most pleasure and reward.
SMART PARENT/SMART CHILD is the revolutionary philosophy that all children are incredibly intelligent from the moment they are born. When parents have learned understanding, respect, highly developed communication and relationship skills and development related expertise, it is amazing what a child can accomplish and, in fact, each child will achieve his maximum potential.
Thursday, October 5, 2017
I have observed and been shocked and saddened when I hear a parent lie to their child:
1. It could be about what time they will be picked up.
2. Where they are going, when in reality they have a doctor’s appointment.
3. When there is a baby sitter picking them up so they won’t have to deal with the child being upset.
The fact that these situations are ongoing is of grave concern the parent not only loses credibility with their child but it creates also great anxiety and possibly leads to the child also not telling the truth.
However, the scene I witnessed over the weekend was infinitely more disturbing for several reasons.
I was enjoying a light breakfast at a popular supermarket when a dad and 2 year old daughter sat at the next table.
Nothing warms my heart more than seeing a dad with a young child. The fact that it was a girl was a little special for me.
The dad had purchases a full breakfast plate of eggs, bacon potatoes and toast. The child had a yogurt with fruit. They engaged in a meaningful conversation while he prepared the fruit by cutting it into small sections. They both began eating.
She noticed that he had bacon and asked for a piece. The dad responded that this was real bacon and she could not have any.
After several more requests the dad relented, giving a medium sized piece with the warning “You can’t tell mommy about this!” while she quickly ate it up.
Predictably, she stopped eating her yogurt and fruit and repeatedly requested more bacon. The dad began rushing to finish eating his meal so he could put an end to the incident. Sadly they also stopped communicating.
Why am I so upset with the scene?
1. The dad told his child to lie to her mother. This is within the family unit which should be “as one” at all costs.
2. The dad probably realized that since his daughter knew how to say “bacon” she conceivable would mention something at home, that he would have to answer for.
3. The dad should have realized that what he had done was very serious and corrected himself by saying “We will have to tell mommy what we did, that was my mistake”.
I did not hear that, but I hope for the child’s sake it happened. I wonder that if I had asked that dad whether he wanted his daughter to grow up and be honest, he would have responded that he did. He probably would have been hurt if I asked.
But the facts speak otherwise and the facts matter.
Parents speak otherwise and the facts matter!
Parents need to realize that they are the source of their children’s values. Behavioral standards, rules and guidelines.
Every statement matters!
Think before you speak!
Note: A blog will not be posted again until the week of 10/15. My marketing manager is off to take a reol in a feature film. We are wishing him good luck!
Friday, September 29, 2017
That is invaluable knowledge born out of necessity, which was often the only effective way!
She saw that the two most important things were that her infant slept well and ate well. That allowed her to make everything else work.
How exactly does this idea work?
1.Infants know how to eat and sleep. Do not mess it up!
a.Feed your infant when they are hungry, let them sleep when they are tired.
b.Do not disturb their natural body needs.
c.Do not wake them up to feed.
d.If you are a nursing mom, it is important that you follow the nursing mom’s diet at all times. No exceptions – no treats. You will pay a price for that choice because your infant will probably not be able to digest what you have treated yourself to. It is not worth it.
e.Usually by three or four months, you infant will be having a shorter morning nap and a longer afternoon nap. Especially in the afternoon, they may sometimes turn it into a catnap by making the sleep shorter. Either let them put themselves back to sleep or if they need help, a tap on the but to their bottom rhythmically will help.
f.Whatever you do, do not get into the habit of feeding them every time they cry. They can quickly become “snackers”. Every cry is not a hungry one!
g.They should be on three meals a day and a night feed.
h.Make sure when you put them to bed they are full and they will sleep soundly.
2.Do not rush to pick them up as soon as they squeak or every cry. They often will settle down and get used to waiting. If they are waking up from naps crying, this often means they are still tired.
3.Do not carry them around when they are awake or provide them with some sort of motion all the time.
4.Keep them in a their home environment as much as possible. Your social life can wait! Nothing takes priority over the needs of your infant!
5.Talk! Talk! Talk! Talk! Tell them what is happening! They will get used to familiar phrases. If they wake up and you can’t get them right away, tell them that. Your voice will reassure them! Introduce them to music, especially by singing to them.
6.Part of the day should be a safe place where they can practice turning over, crawling and pulling themselves up.
7.They need time every day to entertain themselves. Ideally, on a floormat with appropriate toys to entertain and stimulate them. Let them work to reach the toys.
8.Step back! Let your infant show you their personality and skills! They can’t learn when you are doing everything for them.
Just think how busy you would be if you had four other children! So relax and give them some time and space! Sometimes they will have to figure it out.
Enjoy and good luck!