Babies Won’t Listen To Just Any Babble!

The title from this blog is the headline from an article that appeared in the L.A. Times. 

I can’t express how overjoyed and proud I felt when I read this headline and the accompanying article.

I have believed from the time I had my own children that children were intelligent from birth and that they responded to my voice and its message instantly.

I watched this interest and connection expand and explode as each child grew and became more articulate. At that time I suspected, but was unsure, that this apparent phenomenon was true of all children.

I have now been a daycare provider for twenty three years and have proven to myself that it is true for all children. We had great success with every child who joined us, but the best success and reward was with children who came to the daycare at a very young age.

We often began caring for three month old infants and we were constantly amazed at the comprehension level and early verbal skills.

I am particularly excited that the “Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences” concluded that infants did not respond to babble. In the experiment, a second language was used as a control, which I personally feel baby talk also falls into the control category. Instead of responding to the babble, the children in the study responded to the correct language they had been hearing that sounded like their current experience.

Those researchers already knew that infants respond to learning something new, and in fact, their brain wave activity bore a surprising resemblance to that of adults primed for important incoming information.

They also concluded that well before a baby begins speaking their native tongue, their in born drive for information makes them a discriminating judge of who is worth listening to.

When we wrote our book Smart Parent Smart Child, we emphasized our own experience and success of communicating with children from birth about everything we expected and what was happening.

The book was written ten years ago when our philosophy was termed “revolutionary”, I hope that now it will go mainstream.

Know that you  are your child’s invaluable teacher and revel in the fact that they are coming to you for even more information and a language they are already hearing correctly spoke.

Do

-Speak in clear and concise sentences.

-Repeat information and directives as needed and give them time to react and respond.

-Respect their intelligence and ability at all times.

Maximize their potential and enjoy it!!!

Good luck!

A Career And Parenting! How Do We Balance It?

“I have already taken on an upper management position and now my husband has been offered a chance to open his own business which we know will be very demanding, how do we handle this?”

I shared the following case study with these parents.

Bernice graduated three years ago, like all children she benefited from being in our daycare, but the strongest influence in her life was her parents. When she first joined our daycare, I thought of them as being almost ideal.
-They were always on the same page.

-They gave clear directives.

-They followed up on what they said.

-They spent their non-working time with Bernice exposing her to creative, educational, social and fun experiences.

Then both parents changed careers at the same time. These career were more demanding in every possible way: time commitment, challenges, availability and stress.

Without realizing it, they were communicating with each other while at home almost exclusively about their work conditions and challenges and only focused on Bernice’s world when she acted out, i.e. breaking rules, not listening, playing at mealtime, stalling bedtime.

One incident stands out in my mind. Her dad came to pick her up and changed his initial request to her five times until he arrived at a version she approved of. Then he congratulated her on being such a good listener.

He was  now settling for whatever worked so he could get home to complete a follow-up assignment.

He had easily given up his role as a guiding parent.

She was still at our daycare for two more years and at the time she graduated, we were witnessing a major change in who she was and her relationship with her parents.

Do children change over such a long period? Of course. But, they should not lose their core values, their self-confidence and their important guiding relationship with their parents.

She was no longer their priority. The amount of time they spent together was reduced to a bare minimum. She was neglected, was constantly pushing her boundaries to the extreme and displayed both physical and verbal signs of aggression.

She was still loving and sweet on occasion, but no longer the confident, outgoing, high performing child she had been.

The parents who raised this question understood the impact their decision could have on their family and decided that the best solution for them was for the dad to postpone the launch of his own business for a few years. This ensured that one parent was always available for their children. He felt confident that an opportunity would open up for him again in the future.

We are also working with another family right now who have taken on a major career change and are being challenged to make this all work for their daughter. They have finally found a really reliable baby sitter to provide care for their daughter, but are still witnessing behavior changes that are not positive.

Their present plan is to figure out how they can work out a better schedule so they are no relying on the sitter so much and spending some additional time together before the situation gets out of hand.
Our families all consist of two working parents. Under those circumstances, being committed and effective parents is already a challenge.

In our experience, having only one parent with a demanding high powered position that includes long hours and travel and the other parent hopefully with some schedule flexibility and less pressure in their workplace is less stressful and more realistically successful. It usually allows for more direct parent/child time.

A nanny/babysitter, even when great, is no substitute for the parent’s involvement. For their best well-being they need time and involvement with their parent.

Do everything you can not to shortchange them!

Good Luck!

The Challenges And Solutions For Sugar High Time: October 31st to January 2nd

We have always played a major role in educating our families about the negative impact of refined sugar in a child’s diet.

Our commitment is to keep it to a minimum in terms of our food offerings and to transfer that approach to their daily lives.

On a year round ongoing basis, your child needs to know that sugar is not good for their health. 

Never reward them with a sugar item, instead choose something healthy, creative or educational.

Unfortunately, in our culture with associate sugar items as rewards.

The best way to ensure the best results is for you, as parents, to set an example for them.

Even when you have this approach, the holiday season is a challenge, particularly starting with Halloween and the ongoing party season.

Some of these strategies have provided the best results:

1. No sugar treats at all obviously is ideal, and committed parents are successful at achieving that result.

2.  For those families to want to do the right thing while allowing some flexibility, one way is to allow your child to have one candy of their choice each day for one week after Halloween and then discard the rest.

3. Count how many treats they have collected and give them a small financial compensation for each so they can purchase an education or creative item with the proceeds. You could also allow them to donate it to charity, or even put said funds in a savings account.

4. This might be a good opportunity to teach them how to read an ingredient label so they better understand what they are putting into their system.

**Remember, the tone for the holiday season will be set by how you handle Halloween!

5. Do apply very clear restrictions to Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Years, and any major holidays that are part of your culture. This also includes holiday parties.

6. A conversation should occur prior to each of these events. Be consistent and firm about your plans and the season will be positively manageable.

7. Make sure your child has nutritional meals and plenty of sleep!

Set a good example! Let your children see that you are also carefully managing your own diet. This is the best example!

Good luck!

The Sippee Cup? The Case For Taking Them Off The Market!

Last weekend I felt it was time to purchase some new cups for my daycare. I always select a solid cup in multiple colors so that each child has a designated cup in a selected color.

The last time I went on this search I found it challenging since this seems to no longer be a popular item. However what I found when I came to the kitchenware section of an extremely popular store was that not only did they have 0 of the style I was looking for, but instead had 40 choices of sippee cups! Some had a permanent straw instead but most had some form of an extended spout with a single or multi-hole tip.

I have forever banned these cups from my daycare and have explained to all my parents the reasons behind my decision. I now realize that the market is so saturated with this style that an option is hard to find.

Why I do not approve of sippee cups:

1. The name itself is a distortion of the English language. Also, unless you are a professional wine taster, you do not sup liquid, you drink it.

2.These cups were with 8 oz or larger.

What do they get filled with?

Water- the campaign to convince everyone to drink eight 8oz cups of water per day was created by two of the major soft drink companies who had each purchased a water bottling company. They saw this as a new market for them and wished to expand it.

Is water necessary? Yes, but it should be in proportion to a person’s body weight. These containers were large enough to accommodate a child going on a safari.

Juice- Children can have some juice during the day. Very importantly, the amount needs to be balanced by the amount of fruit they might consume during the day. Many bottled juices also contain added sugar. At any given time, they should not have more than 3 to 4oz twice a day.

Milk- It is unusual that these containers are used for milk, but if they are, remember milk is a food and large quantities close to meal times can have a negative impact on the amount of solid food they may consume. I keep remembering a parent who was complaining that her son was not eating his dinner and then I discovered she was giving him 8oz of milk prior to his meal.

Other factors

-The continued sucking activity on sippee cups. One of the reasons children should no longer take a bottle or be nursed after a certain point is because their tongue muscles need to develop for speech. Continuing to engage in a sucking motion on an ongoing basis could lead to a speech impediment.

-Excessive amount of liquid as a regular diet can dramatically reduce the child’s interest in food that must be chewed. The body may also become deficient in the adequate amount of solid food for the best nutritional benefits for development and growth.

-There should be an assigned location in the home where the child is expected to be when they need a drink. This will keep any spillage accidents to a minimum as well as control the quantity of liquid intake.

-For the trips to the park or any outside activity, take a small regular water bottle. There will be plenty for the average excursion and can be easily handled by a child.

The positive of sippee cups? NONE!

General information:

1. We introduced our children to a regular small cup (5oz) as early as nine months. We usually start with water and then add their formula, breast milk or whole milk as they are getting closer to discontinuing the bottle or being nursed.

2. I have also noticed a major change in the food offering for children at some stores. Mixed food are being pureed and presented in pouch like containers with spouts so children can ingest them but just sucking.

3. I am all for the conveniences and progress, but not at the expense of our children’s health and family relationships as one of the most bonding experiences is sharing food together. Who knows what the trend may also be doing to their digestive systems.

4. Getting back to the beginning, the good news is that I found those cups online, primarily at kitchenware sites. So you can be doing the right thing without leaving your home.

I know this approach may be a major change for you and your family, it is one of the first steps to your child becoming more skilled and confidant.

I know for certain it is the right thing to do!

Good luck!