Every parent we have ever met wants to have a smart child and be a smart parent. Raising a child is the most important responsibility anyone will ever have and can provide the most pleasure and reward.

SMART PARENT/SMART CHILD is the revolutionary philosophy that all children are incredibly intelligent from the moment they are born. When parents have learned understanding, respect, highly developed communication and relationship skills and development related expertise, it is amazing what a child can accomplish and, in fact, each child will achieve his maximum potential.

Our mission is to help you achieve that goal. The key to a child's education and success is a skilled, knowledgeable, informed and educated parent.

This blog addresses specific issues, to really be the best parent possible the book is a must!

Saturday, January 28, 2017

Schedule Your Day So Your Child Can Be In A Position To Respond To Their Body Clock

When Theresa came to visit our daycare with her two and a half year old son Malcolm, her description of his behavior fit the profile of all the “out of control” child we have seen in public.

1.Screaming for something his parent keeps saying he can’t have and then being given that very thing.
2.Being carried by his parent, asleep on their shoulder at 2:30pm (Probably his nap time)
3.Showing up at 10:30 am with a baby bottle filled with milk.
4.A child that will only nap when he is driven around in a car.

During our conversation she shares that she never puts his needs first when planning her day. She finds herself mostly in crisis mode since she has never established a child friendly schedule, nor does she have clear and firm expectations for herself and her child.

She now admits that she never enjoys him no her role as a parent.

Fortunately for her, at two and a half years old the situation can be corrected with a new schedule compatible with his needs, clear guidelines, coaching skills, better planning and self-confidence that she can turn the situation around and have everyone on a positive path.

1.Separate his physical needs and his emotional behavior.

2.Tell him he is a “big boy” and you will celebrate by eliminating all the “baby things.”

3.Chose a date-2 to 3 days later and tell him he will throw his bottle in the garbage (Preferably on garbage pickup day so it is not returnable.)

4.Establish a schedule that is realistic for his age.
     a.Dress upon awakening (expect him to help)
     b.Breakfast! Sit with him and share similar foods and dishes.
     c.Morning time should be a combination of playtime, shopping or visiting and learning time. Be          home in time to have lunch five to six hours after his morning awake time.
     d.Share as much of the meal as possible. Make learning about new foods fun and exciting. If he          rejects them, offer them again in a small quantity. Keep expanding his menu.
     e.Naptime is a must- have reading time. Expect him to sleep at least ninety minutes so he will be        refreshed for a positive afternoon.
     f.If possible, be outdoors, especially in the afternoon. Set a schedule to learn new skills such as            climbing up the slide, riding a tricycle. If you are indoors, puzzles are great, number games etc. as      well.  
     g.Dinner is a family event. Have him share the same menu and share positive comments. This is          not a time to report to the other parent on his day’s misbehaviors.
     h.Give him responsibilities: Dress himself, help clean up and put his toys away, help set the table,        put dirty clothes in the hamper etc.

Emotional issues

1.Tell him he cannot cry to get his way. Give him the language needed to express himself.

2.If he is crying or screaming, tell him to stop before you communicate with him. This is really important!

3.Tell him what is going to happen and what you expect of him.

4.Listen to him.

5.Keep your directives and requests short and clear. Repeat them exactly the same until he understands he has to do it.

6.Teach him respect for other people’s belonging and space.

You will be amazed at how interesting a two and a half year old is when they are communicated with, listen to, and taught.

Make sure when you are together, they are your priority. No telephone time with friends, no computer time. If you have to take a call, make it short.

You are their teacher. They will achieve the standards you set!
Good Luck!

Friday, January 20, 2017

Consider Their Needs First!

Maria is expecting her first child in two months. Most of her friends already have children and she is starting to notice in social get togethers with them, infants, even in their first months, are being included in the events.

These infants are often being left in car seats during the gathering. They are sometimes awakened by the noise level or having to be nursed or bottle fed while the mom is involved in the verbal exchanges that are happening. She also notices that these infants are often fussing and unable to enjoy a peaceful sleep.

After months of these observations and comments by her friends regarding the challenges they are having with their infants’ sleep patterns and eating habits, Maria makes a commitment to her expected child that she will have a very different approach and plan once her child is born. She is taking six months off from work and plans to spend 99% of that time with her child except for unavoidable emergencies.

She has read our book and is most impressed by the challenge of allowing her child (which she is going to call Eric) to respond to his own body clock for sleep patterns as well as learning his hunger signs for nutritional needs.

She knows she will have to be a consistent communicator and a skilled interpreter of her child’s message.

She experiences some errors along the way with Eric i.e. picking him up after nap when he is crying since that usually means he is still tired. Instead she should provide him with a soft voice and touch lulling him back to sleep to complete the nap and wake up well rested.

Eric also beings making a unique sound when he is hungry which helps improve her success at satisfying his nutritional needs. Maria hires a nanny for three months and ensures she is following the same approach.

By the time Eric joins our day care at nine months he is a very contented child, sleeping soundly with no help. And well on his way to being a great eater.

Best of all, he is curious, happy and confident. He has benefited enormously from his mom’s early commitment to him.

It is hard to believe, but most of the infants who have joined our day care, were already displaying anxiety with both sleep and food as well as needing some form of attention such as motion most of the time they are awake.

Like every important responsibility you take on, you have to educate yourself, commit your time to the task, and necessarily set aside the social life you may have had.

Time flies, provide your children with the care and attention they need! You both will benefit!

Create the best possible foundation for your family!

Good Luck!

Friday, January 13, 2017

Know And Understand That Your Child Is Intelligent From the Time They Are Born

I want to share the mission statement written twenty three years ago when I opened my daycare.

“We believe that all children are incredibly intelligent from the moment they are born. When a child is respected, understood, and cared for by loving, highly skilled communicators with relationship and development related expertise, it is amazing what a child can accomplish. In fact, each child will achieve their maximum potential. Each parent/guardian is advised of the individual growth of their child in terms of their age-related development stages: social, communication, language, mathematics and reading skills as well as general knowledge. Nutritional needs will be satisfied by the offering of foods that support a well-balanced diet with special care to emphasize natural, healthy products.”

It clearly defines my philosophy and commitment. It was validated every day with every child. This success is the resource for the case studies.

Derek, Sheryl and Paula were all second children in their respective families. They not only joined my daycare when they were six months old, but just as important, their parents had been introduced to our philosophy when they older sibling attended our daycare.

Within a few months after their birth, we began hearing comments like “I can’t believe Derek knows when I tell him I am going to give him his bottle” or “She instantly puts up her arms when I tell her we are going for a walk.”

By the time they join us at daycare, between six and nine months, they are quickly connecting to the repeated directives we are giving them and surprise even us with their understanding and skills, i.e. at nine months Paula is crawling to the location where children wait for a drink or are lining up at the sliding door to go outside.

Paula was able to put her own blanket back in the blanket box after nap time by her first birthday without direction.

Each of them will crawl across a large area to the diaper changing space as requested and can also follow directives on placing shapes into a shapes cube.

After all these years, we still have high expectations because we know all these children are capable of achieving but there are still moments when we are surprised!

Here’s what to do

1. Develop short phrases for activities that will be repeated throughout the day.
“It’s time for your bottle”
“Mommy is going to nurse you now”
“We are going to change your diaper”
“I love you so much”
“You can’t play with that, it is not a toy”
“It’s time for bed”

These are just some examples. Keep the message clear and your tone warm and firm.

2. Half of their awake time needs to be conversation time. This should include reading time. Repetition is a necessity and benefit.

3. Tell them exactly what is going to happen and what you expect.

4. Sing or hum.

5. Verbally congratulate them for any accomplishment.

6. When they are having a difficult day i.e. teething, reactions to immunization shots, stay as calm as you possibly can, don’t let panic creep into your voice. Any anxiety reaction will make the situation worse.

7. Many of you will be working outside of your home during their first year. You should spend at least four hours with them.

8. Make sure any caregiver you entrust your child to is up to speed on and understands and agrees with your approach. This includes relatives. You are in charge of how your child is treated.

9. If you have any option, get help with the house work so you can have enough time with your child.

10. Plan your own time during your child’s sleep time.

Marvel at their incredible accomplishments!

You are their life coach.

Enjoy it!

For more advice, our book is available on Amazon

Friday, January 6, 2017

The Ten Commandments For Skilled And Successful Parenting!

1. Know and understand that your child is intelligent from the time they are born.

2. Consider their needs first.

3. Schedule your day so they can be in a position to respond to their body clock i.e. to sleep when they are tired and eat when they are hungry.

4. Talk to them when it is social or feeding time. Tell them what is happening. Use correct language and a calm tone.

5. When giving them a directive, keep it short and clear and repeat it exactly while demonstrating the action or process.

6. Always tell them the truth. Keep the details simple and clear.

7. Always tell them what is going to occur and what you expect of them.

8. Have clearly defined standards of behavior that both parents agree on.

9. Have clearly defined values that both parents agree on.

10. Never say anything you don’t mean and follow up on what you say.

We are beginning the New Year with weekly communication about each of these commandments.

Whether you are in the early stages of parenting or your children have been in your life for a while, everyone can build more skilled and rewarding relationships.

I am really excited about the opportunity to improve everyone’s lives.

Talk to you next week!

Good luck!