Introduction:

Every parent we have ever met wants to have a smart child and be a smart parent. Raising a child is the most important responsibility anyone will ever have and can provide the most pleasure and reward.

SMART PARENT/SMART CHILD is the revolutionary philosophy that all children are incredibly intelligent from the moment they are born. When parents have learned understanding, respect, highly developed communication and relationship skills and development related expertise, it is amazing what a child can accomplish and, in fact, each child will achieve his maximum potential.


Our mission is to help you achieve that goal. The key to a child's education and success is a skilled, knowledgeable, informed and educated parent.

This blog addresses specific issues, to really be the best parent possible the book is a must!

Sunday, October 29, 2017

The Challenge and Necessity Of Helping Children Deal With Their Emotions and Behavior!

A look at typical behavior in our daycare:

1.Anna will grab toys from other children, run away and then cry when she is expected to give them back.

2.Bryan has learned to cry for everything because it works at home.

3.Peter is getting more upset when his mom does not pick him up on time and is often withdrawn by the time she arrives.

4.Robert had started biting his friends when his feeling got out of control.

5.Mark had begun hitting when he wanted to be included in an activity.

We approach these situations from two perspectives.

We are totally committed to respecting a child’s feelings. They cannot move effectively from anger to sorry in one step without an acknowledgement of their initial feelings.

A straight forward question, “how do you feel right now?” following aggressive heavier will allow the child to respond honestly to the conditions that probably initiated the actions.

This approach usually diffuses the level of anger when it is followed by an acknowledgement of these feelings and then can move on to an appropriate solution.

We are also totally committed to strictly focusing on the action and not the child.

Children are never bad or good.

What they are is a child who follows or breaks the rules, is respectful or disrespectful, listens or does not, tells the truth or tells lies ect.

Do not label their person.

Some key exchanges that focus on the action only to resolve our initial examples:

1.Identify the action and then have them take it.  “Anna, do you know that this toy is not yours? May is going to ask you to please return it”.

2.Bryan, crying does not work at daycare to get your way, you will have to use your words.

3.Peter would like to tell you how he feels right now, “Mommy, I get sad when you are late”.

4.Robert, when you feel like biting, tell me and we will count to ten together.

5. Mark is told by a child in the playground “Do not hit me, it hurts!”

We are convinced that every single child has the skill and understanding to either completely handle their own solutions when given the language and to show respect for their peers when they feel the rules and expectations are clearly defined.

Empower them!

Confidence, skill, and knowledge will be the best assets in helping a child handle their emotions and behavior!

Good luck!

Friday, October 20, 2017

The Power Of Love!

We have found over the years that children who are having difficulty with the parent/child relationship at home will begin showing signs of their frustration, resistance, and anger during their time at day care. Their motive is to get our attention and help so we can correct the conditions that are causing the problems.

Consequently, when we see an extreme change in a child’s behavior toward their teachers and friends, i.e. not listening, hitting, throwing toys, knocking down other children’s project, kicking, biting ect. In all cases these were new behaviors for the particular child and usually a cry for help.
Every situation is a little different, but one recently reflected on circumstances that we have frequently experienced.

Sylvia was 2 and a half when we noticed a dramatic change in her behavior. We were aware that there were major changes in her home experience. She not only was seeing her parents less, having more baby sitters in her life, and in generally usually found herself eating meals alone.

At the same time, she was behaving aggressively at day care, as well as causing physical harm to her friends. We found ourselves often taking her out of playtime because of her harmful and aggressive behavior.

She showed increase separation anxiety when her parent dropped her off. This increased measurably over a week’s period until one day she appeared out of control when her parents were leaving.
At that moment, I realized that what she most needed was a strong feeling of security and love.

I happened to be sitting on the floor with some other children. I reached out and took her in my arms and told her that I loved her. She broke into sobs holding on to me with all her strength.

We remained together in that embrace for an hour before she was ready to venture away to play with her friends.

Every day for the next week began with us sitting together and conversation entered the process on the third day. This fact was extremely meaningful since during her aggressive and difficult stage, she could not communicate about her feelings at all.

By the end of the second week, she just needed five to ten minutes to touch base with me, get reassurance, and be ready for her day.

When we evaluate a child’s behavior, it is wise to step back and understand their world may be leaving them threatened or scared. This situation dramatically called for an outpouring of love to get her to know she was important, wanted and loved no matter what.

We are always reminded to never leave you child without a hug and a verbal reminder of your love.

Fortunately, the parents were able to modify their work schedule and spend more quality time with her.


This was big doses of love that set everyone back on the right track, especially Sylvia! 

Thursday, October 5, 2017

Parent Alert! Your Words Are A Message To Your Child Every Time You Speak!

There have been so many instances lately when parents have made statements that are influencing their child in impactful ways that probably contradict what the parent says are the values they are teaching their child.

I have observed and been shocked and saddened when I hear a parent lie to their child:
1. It could be about what time they will be picked up.
2. Where they are going, when in reality they have a doctor’s appointment.
3. When there is a baby sitter picking them up so they won’t have to deal with the child being upset.

The fact that these situations are ongoing is of grave concern the parent not only loses credibility with their child but it creates also great anxiety and possibly leads to the child also not telling the truth.
However, the scene I witnessed over the weekend was infinitely more disturbing for several reasons.

I was enjoying a light breakfast at a popular supermarket when a dad and 2 year old daughter sat at the next table.

Nothing warms my heart more than seeing a dad with a young child. The fact that it was a girl was a little special for me.

The dad had purchases a full breakfast plate of eggs, bacon potatoes and toast. The child had a yogurt with fruit. They engaged in a meaningful conversation while he prepared the fruit by cutting it into small sections. They both began eating.

She noticed that he had bacon and asked for a piece. The dad responded that this was real bacon and she could not have any.

After several more requests the dad relented, giving a medium sized piece with the warning “You can’t tell mommy about this!” while she quickly ate it up.

Predictably, she stopped eating her yogurt and fruit and repeatedly requested more bacon. The dad began rushing to finish eating his meal so he could put an end to the incident. Sadly they also stopped communicating.

Why am I so upset with the scene?
1. The dad told his child to lie to her mother. This is within the family unit which should be “as one” at all costs.
2. The dad probably realized that since his daughter knew how to say “bacon” she conceivable would mention something at home, that he would have to answer for.
3. The dad should have realized that what he had done was very serious and corrected himself by saying “We will have to tell mommy what we did, that was my mistake”.

I did not hear that, but I hope for the child’s sake it happened.  I wonder that if I had asked that dad whether he wanted his daughter to grow up and be honest, he would have responded that he did. He probably would have been hurt if I asked.

But the facts speak otherwise and the facts matter.

Parents speak otherwise and the facts matter!

Parents need to realize that they are the source of their children’s values. Behavioral standards, rules and guidelines.

Every statement matters!

Think before you speak!

Note: A blog will not be posted again until the week of 10/15. My marketing manager is off to take a reol in a feature film. We are wishing him good luck!