Every parent we have ever met wants to have a smart child and be a smart parent. Raising a child is the most important responsibility anyone will ever have and can provide the most pleasure and reward.
SMART PARENT/SMART CHILD is the revolutionary philosophy that all children are incredibly intelligent from the moment they are born. When parents have learned understanding, respect, highly developed communication and relationship skills and development related expertise, it is amazing what a child can accomplish and, in fact, each child will achieve his maximum potential.
Friday, November 18, 2016
The Success Parents Achieve When Values and Behavior Standards Are Clearly Communicated and Positive Results Are Expected 100% Of The Time!
Saturday, November 12, 2016
It now includes what she perceives as breaking the rules by one of her friends, even though she is not involved in the process. She also has become skilled at remembering all the days’ incidents and reporting them at home.
This last situation is really concerning because her report is often exaggerated or incorrect and we usually don’t hear about it until it is too late to make a correction.
It is a very common tendency to tattle because it often gives the tattler power and attention. Usually they discover this reward by accident but are pleased by it.
The most common reactions to the tattler by the other children in the group (such as our daycare) are anger, resentment, and often isolation of the tattler.
The reaction at home is often complete trust and belief that what they are hearing is 100% correct and the child can be given sympathy and support tat may not be justified. This seem to only accelerate the tattlers behavior.
This is how we handle this situation at our daycare.
-Children can only report what has happened to them personally.
-Then they are totally supported.
-The only time they may report on someone else is when that person was physically or verbally hurt and they are not verbally skilled.
-If the incident happened to a child who is still not verbally skilled, we will verify with another child who was close to the incident.
-No one can report on an incident that occurred between two verbal children.
-If the report is confusing with no evidence then we may inquire an observer.
-When you child is reporting that they are being mistreated at daycare, the first action should be to talk to the teacher.
-When you are inquiring about your child’s day at daycare, stay focused on that. Tell your child you do not want a report on anyone else.
-When your child is repeatedly reporting the same child causing the problem, you should inquire what action is being taken to correct the aggressive behavior.
-If there are any offenses by your child it is a kind and thoughtful gesture to apologize to the other child’s parents.
-If you notice at social events such as birthday parties that you child is being ignored or isolated, this could mean they are seen as a tattle and are not welcome to participate.
-You want to be supportive of your child but be cautious about your reaction and the amount of attention your child is getting or demanding from this. This behavior could be triggered by the need for attention.
This is a challenging situation for all parents, whether your child is on the cause or effect side.
Make sure you are getting all the information and be clear that your goal is to resolve the problem on both sides.
This tendency can easily become a permanent habit that will negatively affect your child’s relationships!
Keep a balanced approach!
Saturday, November 5, 2016
Currently, Edward has been traveling but this would be the first time both parents would be leaving their children.
They feel anxious, excited and guilty about going away and want to be as certain as possible that the trip will be a positive experience for everyone.
We shared our guidelines that not only worked well for our families, but also left everyone feeling good about the decision.
1. Only leave your children with a responsible caregiver that they know really well and that you feel sincerely cares about them.
2. Have them cared for in their own home.
3. Have all behavior expectations and rules posted and clearly understood.
4. Discuss any activities that they caregiver is planning. Make sure they are appropriate and planed for approved times.
5. Ensure that no one else is in the home that you have not OKed
6. Make a calendar with the locations of your trip for each day.
7. Select some highlights you have planned for yourselves so they will be connected to you at all times.
8. Share some information about your location and activities that really connect to pre-travel conversations.
9. Roleplay before you leave so they are expecting some questions from you. This area can be tricky. Since if you just ask a general question like “what are you doing today?” they may not know the answer, nor have any idea what you expect.
10. Give them some age appropriate responsibilities so they will feel important.
1. Get too emotional. This can be very disturbing for your children. Keep it warm, friendly and caring.
2. Show distress. If there has been some incident or injury, tell them you trust the caregiver.
Well planned travel can be a wonderful advantage! The key is to make it work for everyone!