For the first time
ever we have three families expecting their second child. It is actually rare
that we even have one!
The first child has
already been born in August. A little girl who already has a big brother. We
talked a lot about the challenges of giving this new child all the time they
demand and not having the older child feel neglected.
Some of the tips we
have offered that particularly are challenging with a second child:
1.
Tell your child
what is going to happen and what you expect from them.
2.
If there is a
physical change that is necessary such as moving bedrooms or changing to a big,
this should occur ideally two months prior to the expected birth. Your first
child should this this move as something they have earned on their own because
they are a big boy/girl.
3.
Arrange the
infant’s clothing and care needs so they can access the items that are
appropriate for them to have responsibility for. “Paul could you please get me
a diaper for the baby?”
4.
If your older child
is in daycare, whenever possible be available for them immediately when they
return home.
5.
If the older child
is at home, then schedule time that is theirs. Just offer that you will have to
put the infant back to bed, fed, usually works.
6.
When that does not
happen, select a book or activity that you will do together as soon as you are
available.
7.
You may want to
give them a title of “helper”. We have a helper program at our day care where
the oldest four children rotate on a weekly basis as helpers. We have been
amazed at how importantly this work is to them. It will give your older child
identity and challenge. Make sure you explain exactly what you want and how to
accomplish it.
8.
Invest in a couple
of big brother and big sister books. Make sure you agree with the approach that
is taken.
9.
Don’t forget that a
warm hug or five minutes of uninterrupted attention can go a long way to having
a happy big sibling who is not always competing for your attention.
Best of all! Make
sure you are getting all the rest you can squeeze out of 24 hours. That will be
the key ingredient to being a calm influence in a challenging environment.
Good Luck!
