Every parent we have ever met wants to have a smart child and be a smart parent. Raising a child is the most important responsibility anyone will ever have and can provide the most pleasure and reward.
SMART PARENT/SMART CHILD is the revolutionary philosophy that all children are incredibly intelligent from the moment they are born. When parents have learned understanding, respect, highly developed communication and relationship skills and development related expertise, it is amazing what a child can accomplish and, in fact, each child will achieve his maximum potential.
Tuesday, March 29, 2016
Friday, March 25, 2016
What We Have Learned About Early Development Patterns And Our Young Children’s Amazing Accomplishments!
Friday, March 18, 2016
How To Ensure That You Enjoy The Best Possible, Positive, Nutritious, Interactive, Rewarding Meals All The Time!
We assure her that he is welcome to join us for snacks and lunch and in an environment of happy, healthy, responsible eaters and that he is more likely to follow suit than not.
He starts with morning snack which is bananas and small wheat crackers .
We all sit around one table. The children are responsible for getting a chair and figuring out where to sit so I can reach each of them. It is a light snack, thee ½ inch slices of bananas and one to two crackers. The number of crackers depends on their history of how well they eat their vegetables at lunch. This is followed by a half cup of milk. We want them to get an energy boost that does not diminish their ability to enjoy a full nutritious lunch.
When it is lunch time (2 hours later) I decided to have him seated close to me in case he needs extra assistance.
This day we have carrots, peas, and cauliflower for vegetables. Average portions are placed on each dish prior to the meal beginning. Each child is expected to finish the vegetables before requesting the protein (fish fillets). This is eaten before requesting the pasta or rice, and then the fruit. Each food group has to be eaten before requesting the next one.
Sam seems surprised but excited to be participating in and be responsible for the process. He not only finishes his meal but requests seconds of cauliflower and a serving of black beans (we sometimes have an added item available if any children are extra hungry).
Sam completed his meal and was happy to continue to take a responsible role in preparing for naptime. This is followed with an afternoon of puzzles, duplo building, and outside play.
I am totally unprepared when I enter the kitchen at the end of the day and Sam’s dad is taking him off the counter stool, places him on the floor and forcibly states, “You are done! Every time I looked at you, you were playing with your food. Dinner is done!”
Sam is screaming, agitated, and begging his dad to let him back up on the stool, while crying and promising he will eat his food.
I notice that his meal is being presented to him in a small bowl where his vegetables are mixed up and on a small dish where protein and rice are together. Also, he is being expected to eat by himself since his parents usually wait until he is in bed to have their evening meal.
From my perspective, red flags are flying, and I can fully comprehend why Sam’s eating habits are not only less than ideal, but in fact are creating a very negative relationship with the responsibility of nourishing himself as well as a conflict/power struggle with his parents.
Sam’s dad is horrified that I have witnessed this scene and deeply embarrassed by his behavior. I respond that I see this as an opportunity to help him family understand a very different approach that will completely change the dynamic.
I discuss the situation with Sam’s parents and we agree on a plan.
1. Provide food that is nutritious, seasoned, served separately, and eaten together by the whole family.
2. Provide a menu as outlined in the daycare for whichever meal is the most important in their home. At our daycare it is lunch, but for some families it might be dinner. For the other meal we suggest a lighter menu: a vegetable, a protein, a small amount of grain and one fruit.
3. Commit for every meal possible to be together until this approach is working and Sam is feeling connected and responsible for his food intake.
4. Have him utilize the same dishware as his parents.
5. Only serve food that you enjoy so when you tell him it is delicious, he knows you are being honest, which is a great step in your credibility rating.
6. Keep snacks at least 2 and a half hours prior to a meal as they should be light and nourishing.
7. Listen when he tells you an hour before a meal that he is hungry, and remind him that he is supposed to be hungry and that is a good thing. Keep him occupied and save any liquid intake until the end of the meal.
8. Relay and approach meal time as a social event and as “sharing family time.”
9. Reduce having him eat alone to emergencies.
1. Use any disciplinary tactics during mealtime. At the beginning, Sam may take a while to understand his role in the process and misbehave. Give him two reminders and then excuse him from the table. Note: the only time this has ever happened at our daycare is when a new child has joined the group and brought old habits with them.
2. Focus on every bite that goes into his mouth. Let him handle it!
This is such an important issue that as in Sam’s parent’s case we suggested they contact us if the plan got off track.
We feel the same way about you! Let us know what is happening! We are here to help! Email us at Info@SmartParentSmartChild.com. You can also read another one of our great posts on having a good mealtime with your child!
Tuesday, March 15, 2016
Friday, March 11, 2016
Tuesday, March 8, 2016
Friday, March 4, 2016
However, one day, I am changing his diaper after naptime and I felt some hesitation on his part to lie down to complete the process.
Something in his behavior caused me to ask him if he wanted to use the toilet and he unexpectedly said yes!
I was more than surprised when he instantly peed and did a bowel movement.
I immediately inquired whether he wanted to wear underwear the next day and to go on the “Big Slide”, a major benefit reflecting his skills and maturity.
He responded positively and arrived the next day with a backpack holding extra easy to pull up pants and two new packages of underwear he had selected.
We were amazed that he had no accidents for the next two days, one on the third day, and was even taking responsibility to leave a play activity by the next week!
In discussing his amazing success, I remembered that his sister had accomplished essentially the same feat when she was his age. Also, several years prior, another family with a girl and boy achieved almost an identical success.
Was it possible they had a similar profile? Well I decided they did!
Both sets of parents had high, well defined behavior standards and boundaries for their children that they expected on a consistent basis. We had also always noticed that there was a great deal of respect toward the parents as well as from the parents.
Maybe, most importantly, being toilet trained, as far as the parents were concerned, was simply treated as taking responsibility for a normal bodily function. No rewards were promised, no bribes were offered, and correct language was always used.
These parents reacted the same when their children learned to successfully when their children learned to successfully pedal a tricycle – with pride and congratulations!
So what can we learn from this?
1. Welcome your child into the bathroom with you whenever it is appropriate and expose them to a normal activity you think they are curious about.
2. Use all the correct terminology and, depending on their verbal skills, answer their questions.
3. Be comfortable!
1. Show anxiety or set timelines.
2.Refer to any aspect of the process in made up language that has a ring of illiteracy to it, “Potty, poopies, weeine ect”. This will probably give your child the message that what you are communicating to them is somehow different than what you do.
Being toilet trained is an important step in their skills building and maturity.
Relax and let everyone enjoy it!
Tuesday, March 1, 2016
This should be a good start without overbuying. Happy shopping and for more newborn advice check out our post on How to find the feeding rhythm of your newborn!