Every parent we have ever met wants to have a smart child and be a smart parent. Raising a child is the most important responsibility anyone will ever have and can provide the most pleasure and reward.

SMART PARENT/SMART CHILD is the revolutionary philosophy that all children are incredibly intelligent from the moment they are born. When parents have learned understanding, respect, highly developed communication and relationship skills and development related expertise, it is amazing what a child can accomplish and, in fact, each child will achieve his maximum potential.

Our mission is to help you achieve that goal. The key to a child's education and success is a skilled, knowledgeable, informed and educated parent.

This blog addresses specific issues, to really be the best parent possible the book is a must!

Friday, September 25, 2015

Why I Know My Dads Are The Best Ever!

David arrives to pick up his daughter and find Amelia in a testy mood. He comments on her attitude and inquires why she is challenging him. She replies that she couldn’t participate fully in dace time again because she lacked a skirt that she could swing. Rather than negate her feelings, he acknowledges that he has noticed that the other older girls in the group are always wearing dresses which most of the time, especially on dance day, border on being fancy.

He assures her that he is listening and recognizes that she rarely asks for anything. But he is concerned that she is copying them rather than thinking for herself. “I want you to be independent and think for yourself and not copy others!” Her response is that she loves this type of dressing and does not want to be in pants and t-shirt all of the time.  After a short discussion I assure him that she is not a follower, as we expect everyone to think for themselves. He commits to take her shopping that weekend.

Amelia came to daycare Monday with a new appliqued shirt and swing skirt. She informed us there are also some new dresses in her wardrobe and, best of all, she and her dad had a great time shopping. We have always had some fantastic dads at our daycare. But right now, that seems to apply to all of them.

Here are some of the reasons we feel that way.

      1. Peter takes his three year old daughter to a ball game and he also takes her to see Swan Lake.

      2. Doug agrees to take care of a one year old neighbor’s child who also attends our daycare, even though that particular evening he is on his own to care for his own 2 and 4 year old.

      3. Michael decides to give up his “blankie” that he has saved since he was a child and considered a treasure because he is now aware that his three year old son has been negatively affected by his own “blankie” and wants to give it up.

      4. Paul is solo parenting for two weeks with a one year old and a three year old while their mom is traveling for two weeks on business.

      5. Bill takes his four year old and nine year old camping so their mom can have a vacation with some of her friends.

      6.  Hank comes to pick up his son and notices he is looking at a picture book upside down. He gently alerts him that he needs to turn the book around since he should have noticed that the banana picture did not look right. He smiles and says that he is working with him on his perceptions skills. His son is 16 months old.

These are just some highlights that stand out in my mind. But the really exciting part is how proactive, involved and responsible all the dads are. They have enormous respect for their children's intelligence and are involved in every aspect of their lives.

They are truly parenting partners who also respect the children’s moms in terms of both their personal and professional needs.

What we are witnessing bodes very well for our children’s futures! They are redefining what masculine really means!

Friday, September 11, 2015

Why Personal or Family Related Communication That Could Be Explosive Should Never Occur When Children are Present!

Erin and Derek are playing in the sand box. They have been enjoying their time together but suddenly cannot agree on how to proceed with the plan for the zoo they are building. They exchange a few comments and unexpectedly Derek becomes agitated that Erin will not agree with his ideas.
We are completely stunned by Derek’s next statement. “Do you want a divorce? Well, you won’t get the house, the credit cards, or the bank account!”

One of the most disturbing aspects of that incident is that Derek’s parents are not divorced and more than likely the statement he was quoting had been said two years earlier (when we asked them about it). We can never estimate the impact our words have on our children. This is especially true when they contain so much emotion. Obviously Derek is still drawing on that experience.

Since children rely on their parents for survival, any condition that would negatively impact that has a monumental impact. As a condition of the family structure, children often feel that they are responsible for crises in the parental relationship.   

We share this experience with Derek’s parents and outline the following effective guidelines for positive communication.

Do not

1.Discuss highly charged emotional issues when your children are present. This includes when they supposedly are asleep. Schedule this discussion either when they are out of the home or select a neutral and private location. Under certain circumstances, a counselors’ office may be an appropriate option.  Knowledge of this situation may scare your child because in many cases children have experienced seeing this parents disagree about circumstances that involve them. Consequently, they may feel that the currently discussed is somehow their fault.

2.Jeopardize their stability and security until final decisions have been made and a plan is in place.

3. Neglect to assure them they are not responsible for the decisions being made, and that they are an important member of the family and are loved no matter what happens.


1. Communicate all information to your child regarding circumstances that will impact them. Give them the facts in a timely manner and an assertive style.

2. Always keep your emotions under control. Remember you are their source of survival and if you appear out of control it may alarm them.

3. If appropriate, involve them in discussions where you, the parents, may disagree. This could involve a serious issue, i.e. moving, attending a new school, politics, family relationships. Make sure the tone of the discussion is respectful, factual and calm. Your child should observe that parents can disagree and still respect each other’s opinion. They will transfer this example to their own relationships.

4. Respect you child’s opinion when it is offered. If appropriate, explain why if you do not agree with it. Always confirm that you value their opinion.

Good luck! And remember, if you purchase Smart Parent Smart Child on Amazon this month, it comes with a free phone parenting consultation!  

Friday, September 4, 2015

Why Are Boys Not Expected To Talk As Early In Their Development As Girls?

Adam is twenty months old and has had an interesting and challenging language history.

At fifteen months he was clearly communicating about 15 to 20 words, and was really proud of his accomplishments. He was constantly encouraged and applauded.

Unexpectedly at 17 to 18 months, he went completely silent. At this time, we also noticed some personality changes. Earlier he was always smiling, so much so that other parents commented on it. But at this point he was almost “glum”.

We continued to encourage him to verbalize with little immediate success. His parents were very much involved in getting him back on track and thought that the fact that his sister had begun speaking for him could be a factor.

We began breaking down the words into phonetic sounds. It took about 10 days before we had measurable success. Now he is enunciating more clearly than before and is working his way back to being successful at communicating his basic needs. We are also seeing a smiling child return as he gains back his confidence.


1. Expect your son to speak at an early age. So much of our focus as a society says boys are more physical and often trail behind the female counterparts in language skills

2. Pay attention to any effort he makes in verbal communication and help him enunciate phonetically.
Remove any obstacle that might be interfering with his skills development. We see more boys than girls with blankies and bottles well past their first birthday. Blankies should never be a source of comfort or habit for your child and bottles should be replaced by a small cup after a certain point. Not a “sip cup” either as for drinking purposes, children’s tongue muscles need to develop for speech. Both of these habits could give him the message “he does not need to verbalize”. They could possibly make it more difficult to accomplish speech effectively.

When we have had boys join our daycare prior to their first birthday, we have found that they are mostly on track with the girls, or maybe even ahead of them by the age of two. In Adam’s case, his parents were the perfect partners in getting him back on track.

Do Not

1. Label your son as so advanced or interested in physical activities that he lacks the skills and interest to develop as an effective communicator: he can do both!

2. Distort the words because someone wrote that young children can enunciate words more readily if they have an “ie” at the end. We have found that to be not true.

3.Suddenly introduce a new language just as he is mastering his first one. We have had many situations where a parent decides to return to work as her son is nearing age two. The parents decide it would be a great idea to hire a nanny who speaks a different language to broaden his language skills. Children can master two to three language at an early age. The most successfully way to do that is from birth.

It often does not work as well and in fact may derail the verbal development totally when it occurs at a critical development stage. Usually when this challenge occurs he is actually being introduced to two new languages since in most cases that nanny speaks English with an accent which may sound like a thirst language to a new child. It is a huge advantage to have broad language skills but evaluate when you are introducing them.

Treat your son as a highly skilled verbal communicator from the beginning and that is what he will be!

Good luck!