Why Corrective Action Should Always Be Approaches As a Positive Teaching Opportunity, Not a Negative Disciplinary Approach!

I periodically address this issue partly because it is so important, as well as the basis of a parent/child relationship, and also because certain times of the year are most in need of a clear behavior and values agreement between both parents and their child.

Summer vacation time is one of them.

Several things are obviously impacting the family lifestyle.

1.       No scheduled school time.

2.       Longer daylight time.

3.       Both short and long vacation trips.

4.       Increased fatigue from all the increased activity.

It is impossible to over emphasize the importance of maintaining rules and expectations during times of change.

Do

1.       All behavior and value expectations need to be clearly defined again.

2.       Parents must agree no matter what is happening.

3.       No parent can contradict the other under any circumstances.

4.       All behavior correction must be approached as a positive teaching moment with clear consequences.

5.       Reinforce your expectations.

6.       Ensure everyone is getting enough sleep and down time.

Do not

1.       Resort to punishment.

2.       Lose your cool.

3.       Over book.

4.       Feel guilty and turn a teaching moment into a passive reward.

5.       OVER BOOK

Summer should be a wonderful time to have more opportunities for rewarding family experiences.

They will only become that if all expectations are kept in mind!

Have a great summer!

How To Prevent Cat Napping, Snacking and Create a Healthier Schedule For Your Infant! We repeatedly experience these behavior patterns with infants and young toddlers who join our daycare.

Somewhere between five months and eight months, your infant should be having three meas a day with a light snack mid morning and mid afternoon. They should also be napping one to one and a half hours in the a.m. and 1.5 hours in the p.m.

So what is happening that we rarely see this pattern when these age groups join our daycare?

Let’s talk first about the snacking.

1. A four to five month old is very different than a newborn. Realistically, most one to three month old infants need to be fed whenever they communicate with a hunger cry. Three to five month old infants should be expected to wait awhile between daytime feeds. They can have more interactive communication and playtime so they can begin taking eight oz feeds and reduce the number of times they are fed. For example, they will have 3 eight oz bottles during the day and one 8 oz night feed.

2. At five to six months you will be adding in cereal and creating three distinct meal times.

3. The two snacks in between one in the a.m. and one in the p.m. can be banana/applesauce etc.

4. They will remain on this schedule for the rest of their first year, during which you will be adding in more solids and keeping the milk intake to three daily and one night. Part of their milk intake will be provided in their cereal.

5. They will be satisfied to take five to six hours between meals when they are fully fed.

6. The most common tendencies we see is for the parents to give them a milk feeding or a snack every time they seem distressed instead of occupying them creatively at those times.

7. This fear year is super important if you want to have a healthy, well nourished child with good habits forever.

Now we get to cat napping.

1. Cat nappers are infants or toddlers who have created a pattern of very short naps, morning and afternoon.

2. Very often this occurs because they are away from home during nap time and fall asleep in their car seat or stroller and are awakened when arrive home. If this situation is frequently repeated, it becomes their sleep pattern no matter where they are.

Your child is awaked during his nap approximately thirty to forty minute into their nap. This often happens in the afternoon nap. It is unlikely they have had enough rest. What happens I that you pick them up instead of putting them back to sleep. This timeframe is hardly ever enough sleep. It may take some of your time, a calming touch, to make them fall asleep again. Trust me! It is worth it.
Speaking to any experienced parent, you will find that they agree: when you child is a good eater and a good sleeper, you can probably handle anything that happens during the rest of the day.

Invest your time now, because the payoff is great!

Good luck!

Happy Father's Day!

It has been such a great experience witnessing so many wonderful Dads taking a major role in their children's' lives. Congratulations and thanks! Keep it up!

What do I do when my son is being extremely physical in expressing his feelings for a girl at his Daycare?

A question from a reader:

“What do I do when my son is being extremely physical in expressing his feelings for a girl at his Daycare? He can’t seem to stop hugging her, holding her hand, telling her he loves her and generally wanting to be near her all the time.”

Through the years, we have had many children who had very strong feelings and physical attachments to other children. Most of the time, it was a situation where girls would talk of marrying one of the boys (often two or three girls with the same boy).

We have also had situations that were more intense. One that comes to mind was a two year old boy who would immediately seek out a younger girl when he arrived at daycare, give her a warm hug, and then generally choose to be near her or be helpful to her. They were often referred to by other parents as behaving like an old married couple.

Coincidentally, very recently, we had a relationship between a 4 and ½ year old boy and a 3 and ½ year old girl that suddenly escalated from great playmates to inseparable friends and then to intense physical interaction and a desire to be isolated. 

At that point I took them aside and the following conversation occurred.

Me: I realize you really care about each other, I see you hugging, holding hands, sharing verbal endearments and wanting to be alone. I am glad you enjoy each other, but you have to be older to express yourselves in such a strong manner.

The boy: Can we do it when I am twenty?

Me: Of course you can.

The boy: When we get married?

Me: Absolutely!

They instantly moved forward to a relationship that was similar to the way they were before.
What was important?

-Their feelings were acknowledged and validated.

-They were not reprimanded in any way.

-They were given a positive message that strong emotional attachment at any age is valid.

Do Not

-Label their behavior as bad, wrong, unacceptable or not allowed.

-Punish them.

-Try and keep them separated.

Respect, a clear positive directive, and support for who they are will always give positive results.

Good Luck!