Introduction:

Every parent we have ever met wants to have a smart child and be a smart parent. Raising a child is the most important responsibility anyone will ever have and can provide the most pleasure and reward.

SMART PARENT/SMART CHILD is the revolutionary philosophy that all children are incredibly intelligent from the moment they are born. When parents have learned understanding, respect, highly developed communication and relationship skills and development related expertise, it is amazing what a child can accomplish and, in fact, each child will achieve his maximum potential.


Our mission is to help you achieve that goal. The key to a child's education and success is a skilled, knowledgeable, informed and educated parent.

This blog addresses specific issues, to really be the best parent possible the book is a must!

Thursday, December 24, 2015

Happy Holidays!

World Peace
Begins
With a Truly
Non-Violent Home
Let Us Commit
To Bring A Real A Real Peace
To All
Love 2016

Friday, December 11, 2015

What Can I Say To My Child About The Unbelievable Violence That Exists In The World?

It is important to realize that your child may be hearing about violent situations from sources other than you. This makes it extremely important that the issue be discussed.

We have lived by a totally non-violent philosophy and shared that with the children in our care.
Here are some guidelines that have worked for us.

Do

1. Acknowledge that there are some people in the world who do mean or hurtful things. This is because they have not learned to resolve their differences with other people by using their words like your child should be encouraged to do.

2. Share the names of some of individuals or groups i.e. police, firemen, rescue workers, doctors, nurses, family members and friends who help people all the time.

3. Identify some of the ways you always check to make sure everyone is safe.

Do not

1. Ever allow your child to watch the news or any violent form of entertainment.

2. Automatically assume that a G rated movie or video is appropriate for your child.

3. Provide violent details if they inquire about the meaning of some actions they have overheard.

I am hoping that with all the violence and hatred we are exposed to right now that we, as parents, make a commitment to creating a more positive, caring, embracing world for our children.

Additional thoughts

1. The most successful way to achieve that goal is to raise our children with a non-violent philosophy!

2. Our children are not bad or good. They break a rule or follow a rule. They may listen or not listen. They may be empathetic or non-caring. Focus on the action without labeling their character.

3 .They must be given the skills to resolve their issues or communicate their needs verbally.

4. There are no violent toys allowed. They should not make guns out of other objects, hit a friend, call them an unkind name or make shooting sounds while pointing their finger. Shooting hurts people, it cannot be part of a game.

5. Encourage and expect your child to be more creative in their games. We play family roles, create villages, open restaurants, go on trips and build museums for examples of good play. Children become amazingly creative when we outline clear expectations.


Let’s make a commitment to creating a better world for our children.

Friday, December 4, 2015

Guidelines For The Holidays!

We all want our holiday experience to be the best possible! To help make that happen, we are sharing some of our Do and Donts so everyone can be happy and healthy!

Do

1. Have a very positive discussion with your child regarding the specific activities for each day and what you expect from them. This may need to include appropriate phrases for them to communicate so they feel at ease. This should include their skill answering questions, especially if they are interacting with new people.

2. Request that all your friends and relatives respect your food guidelines. Communicate them in a very positive, straightforward way i.e. “We really do not want our child to have any sugar treats. We would really appreciate if you would follow our request.”

3. Have a non-sugar treat available as an option.

4. Apply this approach to whatever issues are important for you i.e. Sleep schedules, non violent toys, child-friendly videos and TV choices.

5. Schedule activities to accommodate their sleep schedule. If your child is still taking a nap and there is just no way you can accommodate that, then make plans to be home for an early dinner and bed. If you stay out too late and your child has not napped, you could experience having them fall asleep on the way home, which may cause further sleep issues that night.

6. Make sure they are getting as much rest as they need and as much nutrition as they request. This increases the chance of having a happier, and well behaved child.

7. Follow your own rules. Think before you speak and do not change your mind. You will instantly erode your own credibility if you do.

Do Not

1. Over schedule. Plan some home quiet time!

2. Lose your cool! Take a deep breath when circumstances appear to be getting out of control. Give yourself a minute to assess the situation and make the most reasonable choice available.

3. You family is creating memories you will talk about for a long time! Help them be fun, positive, rewarding and entertaining!!!!


Good luck!

Thursday, November 19, 2015

Why Do So Many Parents Threaten Their Child When They Do Not Listen?

Sally is picked up from daycare at her usual time. However, today she happens to be building a rather elaborate Duplo castle that is not quite finished. Her dad tells her he is ready to leave now and to immediately take apart the castle and clean up the Duplos.

Sally has about a 90% good listening record and this time her request to finish the project seems valid to her since she has put in so much work and time already.

Instead of responding directly to her request, her dad simply repeats his demand that she clean up so they can leave immediately.

We can see her struggling with his repeated requests and before any alternative is offered, he immediately moves toward the door and says, “Well I am leaving now and you can just stay here.”

It is extremely disturbing to hear those words since he has taken this approach before with disastrous results for Sally.

She immediately runs to the door, cry and call for him to wait! She now has the dilemma of choosing to clean up the project (which she knows she should) or letting her dad leave without her. Predictably, I tell her that I will clean up the project and call to him to wait for her.

This is not the first time this exact scenario has happened between Sally and her dad. This is also a scene that we frequently see play out in public places, especially in shopping malls.

How many ways could this situation have been resolved?

Do

1. Remember when you are picking up your child from day care or any other activity, to have some understanding of what the existing circumstances are and make decisions accordingly.

2. Communicate clearly what the final decision is after you listen to your child’s request and remind them you expect to be listened to.

Do not

1. Ever threaten to abandon your child, no matter what the circumstances are! You are threatening their very survival. They will probably not remember that you did this before and did not actually follow through, at this moment, their reaction is all based on emotion and not logic.

2. Expect them to become a better listener based on a threatened approach.

3. Disrespect their need for some understand when there are extenuating circumstances.

Holiday time is here! There are many positives associated with it, but also many challenges.

Everyone can become overtired, stressed, off schedule, overstimulated and demanding.

Stay on message! Let your child know what is going to happen and what you expect!

For further readings on listening, click here!

Good luck!



Friday, November 13, 2015

Why Is Having Your Child Listen To You Such An Ongoing Challenge?

One of our moms arrives at daycare with a large basket of toys that her family no longer uses, many of them are parts of large groups that no longer make sense to keep. They are not only in great condition and really good quality, but remarkably, are compatible with the activities we already have.  I.E novelty pieces for a wood train system, beautiful creatures for our whale collection ect.

The largest group is a collection of metal cars that get everyone’s attention. Jonah, a two year old, is immediately drawn to two items, a white care and a blue car, that he successfully reaches for and grasps tightly in his hands.

Throughout the day he finds ways to include them in his play activity. We notice that on each occasion during the day, when he has to return them to the car drawer, he is reluctant to do so. He slowly follows through when we remind him he will be able to play with them at the next play period.

Now, it is the end of the day and his mom, Sylvia, has arrived to take him home and she reminds him to put the cars away so they can leave. Jonah runs to the exit door, clutching the cars and tries to open it to leave. He is refusing to listen to his mom and return the cars. This is surprising since we have relied on his listening skills on all occasions and they have been consistently great! The situation quickly escalates and he is crying. I notice that Sylvia is getting frustrated and embarrassed and makes a gesture to take them from him.

Normally we do not interfere between a parent and a child. Jonah has been a really good listener and his mom and dad have both shown a commitment to be responsible parents. However, this appears to be a teaching moment for both Sylvia and Jonah.

Jonah is asked to go to the door (our calm down location) until he stops crying and we can communicate with him. I share with Sylvia that when Jonah challenges her requests, she needs to stay calm, on message, and not lose sight of her goal.

Fortunately he is not defying me and she is able to witness how important it is to stick to the specific request that he return the cars before leaving the day care.

After five minutes of both allowing Jonah time to evaluate the request and decide whether he wants to comply, he finally takes a positive action and returns the cars to the drawer.

We thank him for being such a good listener and remind him he will be able to play with them again when he returns to daycare the following day. We have been rewarded every day since this incident when Jonah carefully returns the cars to the drawer, often without being reminded.

Do Not

1. Expect that teaching your child to listen will be a one-time lesson. This is a work in progresses and will require periodic updates.

2. Give up, get frustrated, be embarrassed since you may be in a public place.

3. Ever tell your child you will leave without them! This would cross a line threatening your child with abandonment.

Do

1. Thank your child for being such a good listener and following your directives.

2. Believe you are doing the right thing for your child. You will need this relationship for the rest of your parenting life.

3. Understand that there will be occasions when your child’s need will be greater than their desire to please you.

Good luck!


Friday, November 6, 2015

Why It Is So Important To Always Inform Your Child What Is Going To Happen And What Is Expected Of Them!

Amy has just turned 16 months and is already independently navigating her world! Her mom plans to attend a daycare party for a short period of time in the morning, and then return to work.

We are unaware that she has not informed Amy of her plans. As a result, after experiencing the surprise joy of seeing her mom in the middle of the morning, her mom suddenly says goodbye and departs for work.

Needless to say, Amy is upset, confused, and crying. It takes us about five minutes to explain the circumstances to her and assure her that her mom would return at the end of the day. It takes Amy the rest of the morning to really return to her normal comfort zone.

Amy is further surprised at the end of the day, when her parents show up with her grandparents. This is not only unexpected, but she rarely sees her grandparents except on Skype, which for her, is not really a solid connection.

She cries to be picked up by her dad (not her usual behavior) and clings to him the entire time without another glance at the grandparents.

What went wrong here?

Amy’s parents do not realize that she should be informed about both of these incidents prior to that day.

Parents need to inform their children about changes in any routine the prior day, or earlier the same day. They also need to communicate how the child can handle the change.

In the first case, telling her when she was dropped off at daycare that mommy would be returning at party-time and leaving when the event was over, reassuring her that she would return at the end of the day to pick her up would have been ideal.

Additionally, when parting, the mom had an ideal opportunity to remind Amy that she would be picking her up along with her grandparents. She could have reassured her that they are visiting to get to know her better and it is okay if she feels comfortable interacting with them (maybe to read a book ect.) or she can choose to hang out with mom and dad until she knows them better.


Ideally, you have been communicating with your child in terms of new expectations and opportunities in their life. You will gain credibility and trust and they will gain confidence and skill! Good luck!

Friday, October 30, 2015

How Did We Figure Out Why Bryan, Our Happy Eighteen Month Old Was Suddenly Having Uncontrollable Tantrums?

From the time we shared Bryan’s story in an earlier blog (which you can read here), we were determined to help our independent, self-assured and confident child deal more effectively with whatever conditions were so strong that he was unable to control his reactions.

Bryan is still limited verbally, he says about 20 words, enunciating clearly, but cannot express himself when he is upset. This made resolution particularly challenging.

We knew there was probably going to be more than one factor, but we were hoping to figure out what the main one was.

After a full week at day care and two weekends at home, a significant pattern emerged. One day at 10:25 am, he left his playtime activity and went to get a chair from one of the tables and take it to the area where morning snack is served.

I reminded him that snack would not be for another five minutes, so could he please return the chair.

He not only refused to comply but, surprisingly, threw the chair. This action was repeated three times.  At each occurrence, he was more upset and by this time, he was screaming and crying.

We took a moment to realize that almost all his tantrums had to do with food, particularly the lack of it.

1. He was particularly vulnerable at outside playtime prior to lunch.
2. He was often upset prior to snack time.
3. He would sometimes have a tantrum if we expected him to put on his socks and shoes and have his diaper changed after nap before he had a drink of milk.

We knew he was getting healthy, nutritious food at home and at daycare so the problem was probably quantity.

Do

1. We reviewed his breakfast menu and recommended that it be doubled.
2. We doubled his morning snack so he could maintain his energy through playtime before lunch.
3. He always was a big lunch eater, but we increased the amount of protein he was getting. We have always provided seconds when requested and continued to do so.

Pay attention to the circumstances that occur prior to a meltdown and determine if there is a pattern. We were fortunate that this became so obvious and was a relatively easy fix.

Do Not

1. Assume you have addressed all the behavioral issues that occur as your child is trying to figure out how to best survive in life.
2. Forge that they are progressing at a rapid rate physically, emotionally and intellectually. Stay tuned in.

This solution has solved 90% of the tantrum issue. There are still moments when he does not want to listen, wants his own way, or shows signs of fatigue and lack of emotional control.

We are still tuned in to him to also help him resolve all of the above situations in a positive, productive way.

Good luck!



Thursday, October 22, 2015

Why Do So Many Parents Label Their Child Shy?

One of my assistants attends a child friendly event with her son Bryan and encounter Philip, a former member of our day care.

The event is designed to be very interactive and she notices that Philip is not leaving his mother’s side. When, upon her suggestion, Bryan approaches Philip and asks him to play together, the mother says “oh, he is too shy”. Philip immediately holds on to her leg.

We had always noted that Philip’s behavior at our day care was very different than the behavior we saw when his parent were present. Not only did he not communicate with the same confidence, but often suddenly showed signs of distress. Like many children, he behaved in a manner that he believed pleased them. They were often in a state of anxiety that any situation could suddenly upset him. He was often rewarded for being insecure and incapable of showing his mature side.

A parent’s role is to ensure that their child is encouraged to be confident and self-reliant and also to give them the necessary skills and directives to be a skilled social being.

So let’s talk about how you achieve that!

Do

1. From the beginning, expect them to greet people and make a parting statement in every appropriate situation once they have the verbal skills to do so. Be patient and let them know that displaying good social skills is important to you.

2. Inform them every time they experience a new situation like going to the doctor, to the park, shopping with you, on a play-date, what to expect, what their role is, and what they need to communicate. Assure them if the situation is not what you expected i.e. they are scheduled for a shot that you forget to mention , the venue is much larger than you thought, there are more people than you expected, their friend did not show up. Talk about it and turn it into an opportunity.“We could meet someone new today that we will really enjoy" or "you will be brave at the doctor’s office and if it hurts a little, you can cry but you will be okay."

3. Encourage them to believe in themselves.  Always give them the appropriate language skills and support them even if it takes then awhile to speak.

4. Expect them to go off and play with their friends, encourage adventure!

5. Acknowledge their successes when they are able to cope with new and unexpected situations.

6. Understand that some children may have a quieter nature, but know that they still have to be socially skilled. A quieter style does not mean they are shy.

7. Give them an assignment whenever possible, especially in a new situation. For example “Hand out the napkins at the party table”.

Do Not

1. Give them the message that at every step of their life they need you to function.

2. Allow them to hang on to you when they are safely mobile and in a safe environment.

3. Speak for them. When someone asks them their name, let them answer. Make sure you have practiced this with them and help them be comfortable with answering questions.

4. Label them shy or anything similar. It sicks. I have parents say “well that what I was when I was young”.  I encourage you to break that trend if this is the case.

5. Do not make up excuses because your child is not communicating confidently. If you feel you have to say something say “We are really working on their social skills, and like most things, we still need practice.”

Understand you are preparing your child to be a confident, successful human being that you are preparing to be able to cope with the world!

Do not burden them with labels!

Good luck!





Friday, October 9, 2015

Why Do All The Parents (Well, 99%) Describe The Task of Diaper Changing as “traumatic, a battle, a screaming scene, a chase around the room after their child”?

Diaper changing is a task parents will have to do for an average of five times a day, probably for two years. It is in everyone’s best interest to make it a pleasant and uneventful experience.

Predictably, when parents come to the daycare and we are diaper changing while the child involved is happy, talking and patient, the parents’ comment is always some form of “How do you do that?!”

Here is the secret!

Do

1. From the beginning, you want to be telling your child what is going to happen and what to expect. They will become comfortable with the sound of your words and the calmness of your voice. At some point, probably for unrelated reasons, they may show distress. They could be tired, hungry, teething ect. Do not change your approach. Keep talking and assure them that it will soon be completed and they have to help you by being calm.

2. As soon as you determine you will be changing their diaper, tell them that.

3. Once they are crawling, teach them to crawl to you. This may take several tries but do not give up. This will not only give them time to connect to the task, but also a role in it.

4. Somewhere near their first birthday they will be less comfortable on a changing table partly because you have to pick them up to place them on the table. This causes them to associate it with being a “baby”. They  will feel that they have less control because they are moving forward out of the baby stage.

5. Change all diapers on the floor where they are most at ease (after their first birthday or so). You can use a protective pad or the new clean diaper as a protector. They are already exposed and comfortable with the floor so it is a much easier location.

6. Still expect them to come to you since they are now probably walking. Be patient. It might take them a minute or so after you have informed them to leave what they are doing. If you think they are stalling, then that is mostly a listening issue. Address that and not the diaper changing routine.

Do Not

1. Suddenly pick them up with no warming, put them on their back (which is probably not where they want to be) and start the diaper changing task. You are probably not going to get a great reaction. Just think how out of control that must feel to them.

2. Give them a toy to play with. This is a task, not a game. They do not need to be entertained all the time.

3. Give up. You are teaching you child invaluable skills of listening, responsibility and partnership.

Good luck!


Thursday, October 1, 2015

Why Would An Eighteen Month Old Child Suddenly Start Having Tantrums?

Bryan is a terrific child. He is full of energy, constantly learning new play skills, and even sometimes expecting to display skills that he is not tall enough/advanced enough for i.e. pedaling a bigger tricycle or doing a more complex puzzle. He has been easy to satisfy by diverting him to something that is more challenging, but still possible with some practice.

He arrives at our day care one morning with an exhausted mother having just had a fifteen minute tantrum, not only for the first time, but for a reason she cannot figure out.

We hear on the following Monday that the previous weekend was the most challenging ever for the parents: with tantrums at meal time, play time and bed time. They feel that the situation will be out of control soon if they do not take action.

Bryan’s parents are very wise to seek advice. Everyone talks about the “Terrible Twos”, but in fact whatever behaviors and expectations that are a problem at two actually started much sooner and were not resolved. In most cases they probably began before eighteen months.

Most parents do not believe children can understand and correct behavior at an early age. Most children are frustrated and angry because they are not being listened to and their needs are not being met. The result is that by two years old both sides are dealing mostly with frustration and unresolved issues.

Do
1. Pay very close attention to identify what conditions are triggering the tantrum.

2. Tell your child what is going to happen and what behavior you expect from them.

3. Once they become verbal, tell them what they should have said and have them repeat it. This will dramatically reduce their frustration and reinforce the message that they should resolve issues verbally.

4. Begin at  appropriate stages after their first birthday to edit their toys, books, and activities so they are challenging and stimulating.

5. Consider that by at least 18 months their high chair should be adjusted so they can join the family at the table with unbreakable versions of the family tableware.

6. Assign your child some personal and family tasks.

7. Recognize that by the time you figure out one developmental stage, your child is already ready to move on to the next one.

8.Look back on earlier blogs here to help you through other daily challenges.

Do not
1.Underestimate what your child can understand and the level of their intelligence.

2.Allow your child to have their way when they have a tantrum.

3. Underestimate your role in establishing clear guidelines, boundaries and well defined values and expectations.


Good Luck!

Friday, September 25, 2015

Why I Know My Dads Are The Best Ever!


David arrives to pick up his daughter and find Amelia in a testy mood. He comments on her attitude and inquires why she is challenging him. She replies that she couldn’t participate fully in dace time again because she lacked a skirt that she could swing. Rather than negate her feelings, he acknowledges that he has noticed that the other older girls in the group are always wearing dresses which most of the time, especially on dance day, border on being fancy.

He assures her that he is listening and recognizes that she rarely asks for anything. But he is concerned that she is copying them rather than thinking for herself. “I want you to be independent and think for yourself and not copy others!” Her response is that she loves this type of dressing and does not want to be in pants and t-shirt all of the time.  After a short discussion I assure him that she is not a follower, as we expect everyone to think for themselves. He commits to take her shopping that weekend.

Amelia came to daycare Monday with a new appliqued shirt and swing skirt. She informed us there are also some new dresses in her wardrobe and, best of all, she and her dad had a great time shopping. We have always had some fantastic dads at our daycare. But right now, that seems to apply to all of them.

Here are some of the reasons we feel that way.

      1. Peter takes his three year old daughter to a ball game and he also takes her to see Swan Lake.

      2. Doug agrees to take care of a one year old neighbor’s child who also attends our daycare, even though that particular evening he is on his own to care for his own 2 and 4 year old.

      3. Michael decides to give up his “blankie” that he has saved since he was a child and considered a treasure because he is now aware that his three year old son has been negatively affected by his own “blankie” and wants to give it up.

      4. Paul is solo parenting for two weeks with a one year old and a three year old while their mom is traveling for two weeks on business.

      5. Bill takes his four year old and nine year old camping so their mom can have a vacation with some of her friends.

      6.  Hank comes to pick up his son and notices he is looking at a picture book upside down. He gently alerts him that he needs to turn the book around since he should have noticed that the banana picture did not look right. He smiles and says that he is working with him on his perceptions skills. His son is 16 months old.

These are just some highlights that stand out in my mind. But the really exciting part is how proactive, involved and responsible all the dads are. They have enormous respect for their children's intelligence and are involved in every aspect of their lives.

They are truly parenting partners who also respect the children’s moms in terms of both their personal and professional needs.

What we are witnessing bodes very well for our children’s futures! They are redefining what masculine really means!

Friday, September 11, 2015

Why Personal or Family Related Communication That Could Be Explosive Should Never Occur When Children are Present!

Erin and Derek are playing in the sand box. They have been enjoying their time together but suddenly cannot agree on how to proceed with the plan for the zoo they are building. They exchange a few comments and unexpectedly Derek becomes agitated that Erin will not agree with his ideas.
We are completely stunned by Derek’s next statement. “Do you want a divorce? Well, you won’t get the house, the credit cards, or the bank account!”

One of the most disturbing aspects of that incident is that Derek’s parents are not divorced and more than likely the statement he was quoting had been said two years earlier (when we asked them about it). We can never estimate the impact our words have on our children. This is especially true when they contain so much emotion. Obviously Derek is still drawing on that experience.

Since children rely on their parents for survival, any condition that would negatively impact that has a monumental impact. As a condition of the family structure, children often feel that they are responsible for crises in the parental relationship.   

We share this experience with Derek’s parents and outline the following effective guidelines for positive communication.

Do not

1.Discuss highly charged emotional issues when your children are present. This includes when they supposedly are asleep. Schedule this discussion either when they are out of the home or select a neutral and private location. Under certain circumstances, a counselors’ office may be an appropriate option.  Knowledge of this situation may scare your child because in many cases children have experienced seeing this parents disagree about circumstances that involve them. Consequently, they may feel that the currently discussed is somehow their fault.

2.Jeopardize their stability and security until final decisions have been made and a plan is in place.

3. Neglect to assure them they are not responsible for the decisions being made, and that they are an important member of the family and are loved no matter what happens.

Do

1. Communicate all information to your child regarding circumstances that will impact them. Give them the facts in a timely manner and an assertive style.

2. Always keep your emotions under control. Remember you are their source of survival and if you appear out of control it may alarm them.

3. If appropriate, involve them in discussions where you, the parents, may disagree. This could involve a serious issue, i.e. moving, attending a new school, politics, family relationships. Make sure the tone of the discussion is respectful, factual and calm. Your child should observe that parents can disagree and still respect each other’s opinion. They will transfer this example to their own relationships.

4. Respect you child’s opinion when it is offered. If appropriate, explain why if you do not agree with it. Always confirm that you value their opinion.


Good luck! And remember, if you purchase Smart Parent Smart Child on Amazon this month, it comes with a free phone parenting consultation!  

Friday, September 4, 2015

Why Are Boys Not Expected To Talk As Early In Their Development As Girls?

Adam is twenty months old and has had an interesting and challenging language history.

At fifteen months he was clearly communicating about 15 to 20 words, and was really proud of his accomplishments. He was constantly encouraged and applauded.

Unexpectedly at 17 to 18 months, he went completely silent. At this time, we also noticed some personality changes. Earlier he was always smiling, so much so that other parents commented on it. But at this point he was almost “glum”.

We continued to encourage him to verbalize with little immediate success. His parents were very much involved in getting him back on track and thought that the fact that his sister had begun speaking for him could be a factor.

We began breaking down the words into phonetic sounds. It took about 10 days before we had measurable success. Now he is enunciating more clearly than before and is working his way back to being successful at communicating his basic needs. We are also seeing a smiling child return as he gains back his confidence.

Do

1. Expect your son to speak at an early age. So much of our focus as a society says boys are more physical and often trail behind the female counterparts in language skills

2. Pay attention to any effort he makes in verbal communication and help him enunciate phonetically.
Remove any obstacle that might be interfering with his skills development. We see more boys than girls with blankies and bottles well past their first birthday. Blankies should never be a source of comfort or habit for your child and bottles should be replaced by a small cup after a certain point. Not a “sip cup” either as for drinking purposes, children’s tongue muscles need to develop for speech. Both of these habits could give him the message “he does not need to verbalize”. They could possibly make it more difficult to accomplish speech effectively.

When we have had boys join our daycare prior to their first birthday, we have found that they are mostly on track with the girls, or maybe even ahead of them by the age of two. In Adam’s case, his parents were the perfect partners in getting him back on track.

Do Not

1. Label your son as so advanced or interested in physical activities that he lacks the skills and interest to develop as an effective communicator: he can do both!

2. Distort the words because someone wrote that young children can enunciate words more readily if they have an “ie” at the end. We have found that to be not true.

3.Suddenly introduce a new language just as he is mastering his first one. We have had many situations where a parent decides to return to work as her son is nearing age two. The parents decide it would be a great idea to hire a nanny who speaks a different language to broaden his language skills. Children can master two to three language at an early age. The most successfully way to do that is from birth.

It often does not work as well and in fact may derail the verbal development totally when it occurs at a critical development stage. Usually when this challenge occurs he is actually being introduced to two new languages since in most cases that nanny speaks English with an accent which may sound like a thirst language to a new child. It is a huge advantage to have broad language skills but evaluate when you are introducing them.

Treat your son as a highly skilled verbal communicator from the beginning and that is what he will be!


Good luck!

Friday, August 28, 2015

How To Ensure That Everyone Is Ready For Kindergarten

 “Help! I think two of my friends have made a poor choice of kindergarten for their child. How do I prepare myself and my child for this major step in life?”

Ellen has a four year old daughter, Sheryl, who will be entering kindergarten in one year. She realizes it is just her opinion regarding her friends’ choices but wants to be as prepared as possible when she and her husband make the decision on where to enroll Sheryl.

We share our guidelines with Sheryl’s parents and know they will help them make the best choice.

For The Parents

1. In most communities there are a lot of options: public school, charter school, magnet program and private school.
2. Begin with the guideline of a reasonable (for you) geographic parameter.
2. Go online and gather as much information as possible i.e. what is their mission statement, what do they emphasize as a priority, what are their test results.
3. Once you have narrowed down your choices, I always recommend a personal visit. Ideally you will want to visit the facility during a “normal day”. Do not rely on an “open house event”. It is rare that a better school will not accommodate that request. 
4. If your child is already in daycare, or a pre-k, or attends any structured educational classes, ask the teacher for feedback on their performance profile, social skills and relationships. They may see your child very differently than you do.
5.  Network with friends regarding the school their older children are attending. This effort may just provide a fringe benefit or highlight a major concern. Keep in mind that very few children are exactly alike or have the same needs.
6.  List your priorities and make sure you always follow them.

One of Ellen’s friends had the goal of enrolling their child in a magnet program. However, they turned down an opportunity to have their child attend a high performing school because they were convinced by a co-worker that play dates would be a major drawback because most children don’t reside in the same community. So he is attending a neighborhood school with much less opportunity. 

The second friend has a very creative child who has been in a creative daycare. The parents have selected a very structured kindergarten because it offers a second language that they feel is important.
Both of these situations are adding a new and challenging condition to a big decision. It is completely understandable why Ellen may be questioning the wisdom of their choices.

Try to match the school with what you have already confirmed: your child’s strengths with new challenges.

For the Child

The goal at our daycare is to ensure that each child achieve their maximum potential. We help develop confident, independent, assertive, highly communicative leaders. To achieve those goals with your child:

1. Expect them to show more independence. Set high standards of accomplishment and don’t do anything for them that they have shown they can do or you believe they can do.
2.  Expect a high level of communication. Enhance their vocabulary, enunciation and grammatical skills. We have a simple system to achieve this: we state correctly what they have said incorrectly, and have them repeat it.
3. Expect them to think and come to their own conclusions. You do not want followers. Take advantage of situations that occur normally and discuss what and how they might have handled them differently with better results.
4. Don’t praise everything they do and don’t give rewards for small accomplishments. Raise the standards!
5. Don’t let them always win.
6. Create opportunities prior to kindergarten where they are expected to navigate a new experience. The more you can repeat this in a productive way, the better.
7. Practice social interactive language. “Hi, my name is Sheryl, may I play with you” is such an example. They will be navigating a classroom and a large playground and children are often reluctant to speak up and join a new group because they are unsure of what to say. This is usually where the term shy comes from. Rehearse possible scenarios.
8. You want an independent thinker. Teach them to evaluate situations and make choices.
9. Communicate a completely honest picture of what school is like and what will be expected.

We spend the last full year preparing the children in our daycare for kindergarten. In our case, it is supported with an advanced academic program which gives them an extra level of confidence.
We know every parent wants to do the best thing possible for their child and we trust that these guidelines will help! Good luck!  

   

Friday, August 14, 2015

Why We Believe That Material “Crutches” Create A Strong Probability of Delaying/Reducing Emotional Maturity

Richard has enrolled in our day care and we learn he constantly carries a “blankie”. On one of his preliminary visits his babysitter comes to pick him up and is shocked that the “blankie” is not here, it is obvious that everyone who is responsible for his care relies on it to keep him quiet.

Richard has already been in another daycare so we clarify for his parents that he cannot have his “blankie” at our daycare. We do not support the “blankie” habit at any age and since he is already two years old, we realize this change will be a challenge.

We go into detail with them regarding our opinion. Since we were highly recommended to them, they decide to trust us and go cold turkey. This involves packing up the “blankie” and having Richard dispose of it in the garbage.

His parents describe him as a mostly non-verbal child who relies on whining and crying to get what he wants. We expect a high communication level as we want the children to express themselves verbally all the time. Our day care is not a quiet place.

His parents are stunned that he stops asking for his “blankie” after two days. Over the next two months, he dramatically increases his verbal skills and begins to display more independence. A short time later, he is no longer crying to get his way.

One night a few weeks later, when his dad picks him up, he shares that he always had a dream that his son would be independent, verbal, assertive and fun to be with.

Somewhat emotionally, he says he feels that he finally has that son.

How could one key change, along with the support components, have made such a difference?

1. When children are given the message that they need a crutch to function, they are not being expected to develop their own inner emotional resources.
2.  This crutch environment does not encourage communication, problem solving, conflict resolution or even expressions of caring. 
3. Because, in many cases, children are often sucking on the “blankie”, it may prevent the timely development of their tongue muscles preparing them for speech.

Often stuffed animals fulfill the same role in a child’s world. They are carried everywhere, slept with, and relied on for emotional comfort. Stuffed animals can be a great toy when they are treated as such, and often a great playmate for imaginary games. They do not belong in the child’s bed and are not a substitute for positive and creative interaction with their parents and other children. They belong on the toy shelf.

Your role as a parent is to prepare your child for a successfully future, not insulate or protect them from it. They will need all the coping tools necessary to survive on their own once they enter the education system.

It is a parent’s role to prepare them! Everyone will be immeasurably rewarded!
Good luck!

For more easy to follow parenting advice, purchase Smart Parent Smart Child on Amazon!

Friday, August 7, 2015

Why Does My Child Lie All The Time? Even When the Issue is Not Important, He Does it Anyway!

Raphael is a super creative child. Both his parents are in very demanding and somewhat unpredictable professions. It is not unusual that he is the last child to be picked up from the daycare and sometimes without notice, the parents send a substitute. He is showing some outward signs of stress: stammering, having difficulty sitting still and focusing, licking all kinds of surfaces, biting his nails etc. The impression we have is that he is not a priority in the family.

We became aware several months ago that he was lying about what we felt were insignificant issues, mostly as it related to creative play which is where he gets most of his attention from his peers.
Last week while he was building with duplos some of the other children were using his favorite novelty pieces. These are printed eyeballs which he uses to make his animals. We noticed that he moved toward the duplo container and instead of building, he seemed to be pushing pieces under the container. When we questioned him, he not only lied about it, but blamed another child when we brought out the evidence.

Follow up conversation elicited a statement that these items were important because they gave him “special attention”.

Ellie is dropped off one morning and her mother shares that she will be picking her up at 2pm to take her to the pediatrician for a shot. The mother requested that we not mention the reason to Ellie because she hates going to the doctor and was told instead that they were spending special time together.

We assure the mother that it was very important that her daughter be told the truth and suggested that she do so before she left.

It was concerning that she was reluctant to do so because Ellie would get upset. We convince the mother that it was much more likely that Ellie would be less upset now than later and her mother would be having a credible moment.

With some resistance she followed our suggestion and found that Ellie was not nearly upset as she expected.

So why do children lie? How can you prevent this?

1. Very often as in Raphael’s case, to get attention. He was relying on his strong creative skills to fill the neglect void he felt.
2. They also lie by accident. If parents are not really paying attention to their children and questioning any circumstance or statement that does not seem reasonable, the child may fall into a pattern of lying because their behavior is not questioned.
3. They also lie by example. Ellie would obviously find out that her mother had lied to her about why she was being picked up early. Many parents think it has no effect on their child when they tell a lie and in fact it does.
4. You child is less likely to lie if you have an agreement that no matter the circumstances, if your child tells the truth they will not be in trouble! There may be repercussions for the actions such as cleaning up the mess BUT under no circumstances should your child be punished for telling the truth.
5. Be the unwavering constant example. Make it clear that you never lie no matter what.
6. Make them aware of public figures, acquaintances, students or friends who are caught lying and had a serious consequence follow.
7. Every incident should be a teaching moment. In Raphael’s case, he lost the privilege of playing with the novelty eye ball duplos for one month. He had not only lied that he hid them, but he accused another child. He often commented after the incident referring to the consequences. To our knowledge he has not done anything similar again.


Like all other challenges, be 100% consistent! Good luck!

Friday, July 31, 2015

How Do We Get Our Two Year Old To Stop Getting Out of His “Big Boy Bed”? We Haven’t Had a Good Night’s Sleep In Two Months!

The emergency call came from Paul on night on his way home from work, the previous night was the last straw!

Gabriel was still awake at 11:30pm. He got out of bed, went to the refrigerator, took out a bottle of water and came into their room.

All Paul could say is “We are DONE! We need your help.”

The background was that shortly after Gabriel turned two he had figured out how to crawl out of his crib. Paul and Maren had not actually considered getting him a big bed but felt what he was doing was dangerous. There was a strong likeliness that he would hurt himself.

They could not remember exactly how they prepared him verbally for the new responsibility. It sounded like there were a lot of conversations about all the possibilities that could occur and no clear message to Gabriel regarding the guidelines and rules.

As an experienced parent might predict, he immediately came up with any and all of the emergencies he could think of. He needed another drink, he had a B.M. in his diaper, he needed a hug, etc. etc. etc. He quickly escalated the situation. Instead of calling for them, he was coming in their room, or to wherever they were.

They were lucky during those two months if they got to sleep before 11:30pm. Also, as is often the case, he was waking up earlier than usual and coming to their room.

In their case, they had always closed his bedroom door and relied on a monitor for information and security. Locking the door was not an option.

I immediately advised them to get a security gate that he could not climb, and to establish clear expectations and rules.

After their usual bedtime routine which already included a good night hug, there is no further interaction. Period!!! No matter what he calls for, they will not answer, even if he has done a B.M. He was reminded that he used to do a B.M. during the day so he could revert to that schedule or wait until morning for a diaper change. As a precaution they place a heavy cream on his skin to prevent a rash.

Under no conditions could they respond or enter the room. 
  
Their final goodnight was: “You are a big boy, and this is why we bought you a big boy bed. It is bedtime and we are not coming into your room no matter what. We love you and know you can do this!”

Then I instructed them to leave the room and to not say or do anything!

I was hesitant to follow up too soon since as I was unsure what their time frame was to implement this plan. They had to purchase and install the gate as well as really trust that they could pull this off.
On Sunday (3 days later) there was a message on my machine when I returned home.
It was Maren. “I can’t believe that our nightmare is over. It took one night! Unbelievable! For the first time in weeks I went to work on Saturday (she is an EMT) having a good night’s sleep. Thank you! Thank you!”

Children need boundaries and clear guidelines, especially when they are being expected to make a major transition.

The major mistakes that are often made are because the parents do not believe their child will be able to handle the responsibility. They communicate too much information and often feel guilty that they are expecting too much.

Your child is highly intelligent and will follow directions and rules when they are clearly states and followed upon! Everyone benefits! 

If you have a specific problem that you would like advice on, leave it in the comments down below!


Friday, July 24, 2015

A 14 Month Old In Action!

Geoffrey joined us when he was 14 months old. He lived next to a family whose two children attended our day care.

From the time his parents knew they were expecting, they were intrigued and impressed with the approach their neighbors took with their children as well as the children’s skills and behavior.
Somewhere in the process they were introduced to ourparenting book and were able to apply our philosophy and guidelines specifically to their goals and life style.

Geoffrey’s parents were determined and committed to having him attend our daycare and would periodically visit so that we could fall in love with him and he would be familiar with us and the environment.

We were finally able to have him join when he was just turning 14 months.

We discovered Geoffrey was amazing, strong willed, independent, confident and skilled. He already had basic language skills (probably 20 to 25 words) entertained himself, was very social and flexible.
He quickly caught on to the routine, is slowing grasping and applying the roles, and getting to know the other children.

He listens exceptionally well for his age and we are spending time with him to improve his play skills and his attention span.

Two situations stand out in my mind.

First-At the beginning he was crying when he arrived at the day care door. He was being carried and suddenly put down in his new environment. After a few days I explained that it would be easier for him to make the transition if they did it earlier in the arrival process.

I gave the mom three options:

1)      Put him down at the gate about 20 feet from the day care door and let him walk.
2)      Put him down at the stair landing and walk down the rest of the way holding his hand.
3)      Teach him how to crawl backwards down the stairs and then walk in himself.

Amazing but not totally surprising, the mom elected to go with option 3, the most demanding of them all.

The next day I heard her arriving and noticed that she had stopped on the landing. She was too far for me to hear her, but obviously she was explaining to him what she expected him to do.

After 10 to 12 minutes I see him get down on his knees and begin the challenge of climbing backward down the stairs. She immediately moves down to be lower than he was in case of a misstep. When he arrived at the bottom he practically ran to the day care door without even look back. He has being doing that ever since.

The other incident involved a routine we have after naptime. The children sleep on cots, blankets are placed over them usually after they settle in. Then they have the responsibility when they wake up to take the blanket and put it into the blanket box.

Geoffrey’s cot is next to the blanket box so he usually crawls off the cot (it is 6” off the floor) and pulls the blanket with him and into the box.

This particular day he woke up very quickly and for a few seconds I was encouraging him to allow his body to be really awake. At the same time he was reaching for the blanket, stood up on the cot, pushed the blanket into the box and then walked on the cot to the end, hesitated for a few seconds, seeming to evaluate and measure his skills against the risks and then stepped off safely. The pleasure on his face resembled that of an athlete standing on the high dive and successfully calculating his ability to make that triple twist.

The best part of this case study is that Geoffrey’s parents, by reading our parenting book to educate themselves, respecting their child and applying the good examples they were witnessing with their neighbors are seeing fruits of their labor.

Their perspective is that when they truly understand how intelligent he was from day one, it changed their entire relationship with him.


We can hardly wait to see what he will do tomorrow. His entire team, parents, teachers, and neighbors are on board to help him achieve his maximum potential. How exciting!    

For more case studies and parenting advice you can purchase Smart Parent/Smart Child on Amazon!    

Friday, July 17, 2015

Why Is My Child Still Crying To Get Her Way? She is Four Years Old!

When Sheryl first started at our daycare she cried for everything. If she could not have her way, if she grabbed someone else’s toy and had to return it, if she wasn’t first in line, if she wanted a certain food that was not on the menu. You name it! Crying was her solution for everything.

When we got to know her over a two year period, we discovered she was an extremely intelligent child. She can already read, has an amazing memory for detail and has advanced play skills.

She definitely has social relationship challenges. She has a tendency to take control of any interactive activity and is very selective in choosing a play mate. She is more likely to tell another child that she does not want to play with them.

It was a huge adjustment for her and it took her a while to realize that at day care she gets “nothing” if she cries to get her way. No exceptions! But she finally got it!

However, even with ongoing conversations with her parents and two conferences on the subject, we are aware that when her parents show up, she often finds some issue to raise that will trigger her ears. “They are late, they don’t have time to go to the park” ect. It is rare that the departure is happy and smooth.

They are now at the point where they want the crying to stop and admit they have messed up by not being committed to implementing our suggestions.

We review our directives with them and remind them that they will only be successful if both parents follow them 100% of the time!

They seem definitely on board so we go over our recommendations together!

Do
-Make sure you are giving her some positive attention so she is not relying on crying to have you acknowledge her.
-Initially, both parents should talk to her so she knows they are in agreement.
-Proposed script- It is important to make a clear statement
“We expect you to use words when you need something or when we are doing/saying something you do not understand or do not agree with. No exceptions. You will get nothing when you cry to get your way. If you cannot control your behavior, you will be sent to the door until you can calm down and take responsibility to speak.”
-Note: You should have a location that is visible to you but that removes her from the social interaction. You may need more than one in your home. Do not send her to her room where she is isolated.
-When she has finally calmed down, she does not get what she originally wanted, simply because she initially cried.
-All items that your child relies on for emotional support should be removed from their bed. “Blankies” should be discarded and stuffed animals can be moved to the toy area. You child needs to develop and rely on inner calming skills. These items often become crutches that prevent your child developing emotionally. This is often a part of the crying pattern because they have not learned responsibility and control on their own.
-The best solution regarding this case study is to begin this approach as soon as your child can walk and has some language skills. When they cry to get their way, reinforce with them that crying is not going to work and give them the words they should have said. It is amazing how quickly they catch on and you are playing a major role in their developmental process, as well as accelerating their vocabulary.
-Reinforce that they can only cry when they are hurt. Children are very resilient. Acknowledge the issue, provide care if necessary and move on.

Do Not
-Consider compensating them for any distress they may show. Remain firm, calm and collected.
-Negotiate or reward.
-Keep defending or explaining your actions.


Correcting this behavior will have a positive effect on everybody’s life! Good Luck!

For more case studies and helpful advice on raising a child you can purchase Smart Parent/Smart Child Here!

Thursday, July 9, 2015

Why Is My Child Not Listening To Me?


Karen is a very committed mother. We have had many conversations regarding her two year old’s behavior. Jonathan is very strong-willed and independent and has been a constant challenge. She understands that these are great characteristics but they need to be managed for positive results. Mostly Karen been successful, but she is totally stymied and frustrated by her inability to have Jonathan listen to her.

In our last conversation she reveals that she just had a five minute mother/son conversation with him. At the end of which she asked him “What are you going to do the next time I ask you to list?” He responded “The opposite!”.

As much as she thought that was a highly intelligent answer, what he is really saying is “I am in charge!”Karen has forgotten about or didn’t register that there are some subjects you do not have a five minute conversation about and listening is one of them.

Do
-Make a clear statement to your child. For example: When I ask/tell you to do something you have to listen!
-Use a stronger tone, without raising your voice or appearing angry.
-Change the cadence- a short space between each word so the message is clear!
-Give them fifteen seconds to decide if they want to listen and if they have not responded repeat the statement exactly the same way. 
-After another fifteen seconds, take their hand and have them complete the request while saying “You have to listen!”
-Be 100% consistent in your requests. Do not change your mind about what you believe is important.

Do not
-Have conversations about listening, there are no options here.
-Request that your child do anything that you don’t mean and will not follow up on.


In my opinion Listening affects your entire relationship with you child. Be strong and Consistent! Good luck! 

Friday, July 3, 2015

Why Is It Important That a Child’s Shoes Are The Right Fit With Room To Grow?

Brian is now 14 years old. Sometime between two and three years old he began to walk up on his toes. No one in his family was concerned, they thought it was a phase and he would grow out of it. Unfortunately he didn’t. By the time a new family physician became aware, he immediately recommended an orthopedic specialist and Brian now has casts on both his legs and is in therapy to correct the skeletal issues that have occurred.

There is an opinion that the behavior could have started as a result of shoes that did not fit well and became a lifelong habit.

Does this sound extreme? It does to me, except that we have had children who sporadically would not walk or walked with one foot at a right angle to the other, or cried when we went outside on a warm sunny day when their feet would swell and cause so much discomfort they just stood still or sat down and tried to remove their shoes.  

A child’s Feet are a critical component to the health and shape of the skeletal system!

Do
1.       Take the time, at least once a year, during their first five years, to have an expert measure their feet so they are wearing the correct style and size of shoe. This could also include any need for extra support.
2.       A child’s feet often grow before the rest of their body does. After they have worn a pair of shoes for 6 weeks to two months, check them out! Press one foot (usually the right one is larger) on the outside sole of the shoe as though they are walking. They need at least one finger width space at the toe of the shoe and ½ a finger space on one side.
3.       Have climate appropriate footwear. When your child wears open sandals made of leather or strong synthetics at the beginning of a warm season you may need to include socks, especially if they are being worn for the first few times. This will avoid discomfort and possible skin blisters.
4.       Be aware of how your child is walking. Are they “toeing”? Is their ankle getting enough support? Are they walking as though they are Flat Footed? This might indicate a lower than necessary arch.
5.       Ask yourself if it will be ok if this becomes a permanent walking style as an adult.

Do not
1.       Ever let your child wear second hand shoes. It is almost impossible that your child’s foot shape and body style perfectly match another’s.  Pass on it even if the shoes look hardly worn. Clothing budgets are important and shoes can be expensive.

Watch for sales of acceptable brands, and maybe make an extra effort to save some costs on the rest of their wardrobe so you are not creating a hardship. That’s how important this issue is!


Will your situation ever become as serious as the case study? I seriously doubt it. But beyond that you are always aiming for the best possible circumstances for your child and this is an important one!

Thursday, June 25, 2015

Why Are We Seeing More Violent Play Among Young Children?

David, a 2 ½ year old boy, has advanced building skills for his age.  He loves to play with duplos and has become quite creative.

However, we begin to notice that he is now creating vehicles with guns.  When we remind him that there are no guns at daycare, he is reluctant to change his plans and in fact requires a lot of coaching and persuasion to comply.

Brian, a four year old, was always fascinated with transportation vehicles and usually played construction, rescue or racing games. Lately he has been calling them “attack games”. He is constantly attempting to destroy a playmate’s game or structure.

These are only two examples of what we begin to feel is a measurable change in the atmosphere at playtime. We are committed to being a non-violent daycare. Children cannot hit or bite because it hurts, cannot grab an item if it is not theirs, cannot build or pretend any existing toy or creative effort is a gun or any version of an attack weapon that will hurt another human.

We know children are often testing, pushing boundaries, copying, challenging and fascinated by what they see and hear. We find it very concerning that we are having a particularly challenging time redirecting the children’s creative efforts.

After several conversations with various parents we discover their dads have been introducing them to portions of the Star Wars movies.  In every case the dad is not only a big Star Wars fan himself, but is passing along much of that love and emotion about the characters and actions to his son.

Seeing a dad and child together (especially a very young one) is one of the most heartwarming sights ever.  Obviously it is a great thing that that these dads are sharing one of their meaningful youth experiences with their son.

However it is important that the dads clarify that Star Wars is an imaginary world with imaginary characters and should not be re-enacted during playtime in an aggressive physical manner.
We may be ahead of the curve or behind the curve but the last year is the first time we have children so connected to Star Wars.

Children will always apply their family and social experiences during playtime.  It is important that they get a non-violent message from their parent in terms of how they interpret the stories.

It is a wonderful father/son bond but it needs some guidelines!       

Thursday, June 18, 2015

How to Have an Enjoyable and Rewarding Travel Experience For You And Your Child

Kenneth and Margaret, parents of a two year old and a four year old are planning a long distance trip this summer for the first time since they became parents. They are hearing horror stories from their friends are wondering whether there can be a plan that will increase the probability of this adventure being enjoyable.

Travel can be a maturing and educating experience for any family, but it requires a detailed plan with guidelines, rules, goals, flexibility and patience.

Do:
-Involve your child in as many of the details as possible.
-Outline your trip on a map with a bright marker.
-Write in departure and return dates a week before you leave.
-If you are visiting friends and or family write down any important names.
-Talk about important locations you will visit.
-Know ahead of time what the living/sleeping arrangements will be.  If you are sharing one bedroom, arrange for fold out beds, sleeping bags, pack and plays, or whatever is available so everyone has their own space.  The only exception to this is if you are camping in a tent- that is a very different adventure!
-Look for every opportunity to give your child additional responsibilities.
-Provide a separate backpack for each child. Include a selection of their favorite books, toys, music, coloring books, blank paper to draw on, puzzles ect.
-Add in a few new items (Choose items that will require some discovery)
-If you are staying with family, make sure you request that they partner with you and respect your roles with your children.
-Pack snacks that are high in protein and low on salt and sugar.  This is especially necessary if you have long flights or long car drives.

Do not:
-Plan so many activities that your child becomes exhausted. Try to stay on a schedule without reasonable sleep times. Nothing spoils travel faster than overtired children.
-Do not bend you own rules. You child will feel much more secure and safe.
-Do not forget to use every opportunity to verbally reward good behavior and unexpected accomplishment.
-Do not intentionally cancel naps.  Everyone needs a break in the middle of the day. Canceling naps does not mean they will automatically go to bed earlier in the evening.

Best Advice
-Keep your cool no matter what.  Take a deep breath and discuss as a group what the next best solution is for whatever has gone wrong.
-Do not ruin the trip over any small incident.

You will be amazed at how responsible and involved your child will be when given the opportunity.
Good luck and safe travels! For more amazing tips on raising a happy, healthy child you can purchase Smart Parent/Smart Child Here!


Thursday, June 11, 2015

Follow up to last week’s blog (How to Get Parents Back on Track)

Congratulations and thanks to all of you who successfully completed last week’s blog! I felt it was an important case study and required that the solution be included.

Paul and Maren are finding that the greatest challenge is having Gabriel listen to them. He has already experience two years (his whole life) of having his parents constantly change their minds and pretty much let him run the show.
They are committed to making my plan and suggestions work.

Wherever you are in the parenting process know that you should begin to expect your child to listen to you.  I will keep you updated on their progress.

I also had a great experience this week when one of my dad’s ordered a copy of Smart Parent/Smart Child.  He and his wife already have a twelve year old son and a three year old daughter.  I congratulated them on being honest and open to acknowledging they can be better parents and relying on our advice to take them there!


Talk to you again next week on travel!