Thanks For a Great 2016!

Thanks for allowing me to participate in your most important responsibility- being a parent! Every comment was important to me, and not surprisingly, you responded more strongly to advice that you could put into action!

Have a great holiday and we will be back 2017!

Good luck! 

What to consider when you are making a lifestyle change.

Stop!!! If you are considering a more demanding job opportunity, a plan to enhance your career opportunity, or any change that will negatively impact your child’s care, make sure their needs are the priority factor in your decision!

Tracy graduated from our daycare two years ago. During her last two years with us, her care became extremely unpredictable. Her dad was already in a stressful, unpredictable profession, and her mom had made the choice to further enhance her current position by returning to academia to earn a master’s degree in her field.

This decision was extremely demanding on her time and often left her scrambling to persuade someone to pick up Tracy from daycare.

We were very concerned, and became involved in their plan for Tracy once she would be in kindergarten. The issues were the predictability and quality of her after school care.

Our initial suggestion was to have a university student (there was one nearby) who would be responsible for her pickup, homework assignments, and possibly meal preparation.
Instead of taking that advice, her mom assured us that by changing her own schedule to be more compatible with Tracy’s school schedule everything would work out.

She began calling us for assistance every time the schools were closed and unfortunately we could not always accommodate her.

The kindergarten year was extremely stressful for Tracy and when we saw her, she seemed sad and distracted.

The most disturbing incident was when she attended our holiday get-together. She was the only child present accompanied by a family friend instead of a parent. She behaved in an out of control manner, ignoring the family friend completely and displaying no concern or respect for the other children.

Fortunately she was still listening to us. It was a very sad commentary on how her life had spun out of control, going from a sweet caring child, to a reckless and aggressive seven year old. She comment several times that her parents were too busy to attend the party and that she never came first.

What to consider when you are making a lifestyle change:

Do Not

1. Think that the change will not impact your child.

2. Think that you can figure out her care on an as needed basis.

3. Give your child the message that their needs are not important.

Do

1. Have an in depth discussion as parents whether this lifestyle change is viable considering your current responsibilities.

2. Get input from a child care professional or a teacher before you ever consider such a change.

3. Discuss any change (regardless of its seriousness) with your child prior to its implementation. Like all of us, your child needs to know what is going to happen.

4. Delay increasing your professional responsibilities until your child is older (10+) when they can be more self-sufficient and can communicate their issues.

Remember, being a parent and having responsibility for another human being is the most important job you will ever have and actually live that belief!

Good Luck!

The Importance Of Positive Communication Between Parents in the Presence Of Their Children

Maria is a very bright four and a half year old who is consistently challenged to communicate in a normal voice tone.

She is drawn to games that require loud sound effects (fire trucks, airplanes, police cars, whistles etc.) she also communicates with us and her friends as though she is across the room instead of beside us.

We periodically have talk sessions in the work group about various subjects and today it was about feelings. It is always interesting to observe how our children see their world and today was no exception.

What stood out was when we talked about feeling angry and she stated that she feels angry when her mom and dad scream at each other and call each other mean names.

It was moving and painful to watch how emotional she became when she shared this experience. It explained her tendency to high volume levels in her communication style and also her sensitivity and her overreaction when another child raises their voice to her.

Children are indelibly influenced by the environment in their home, especially as it relates to how their parents interact. When there is conflict between their mom and dad, a child tends to believe that they, the child, is somehow responsible. Many times they perceive their parents’ behavior as normal since it is their constant environment.

If this is your situation, it may mean a major commitment to a life changing style. If so, it is important that you consider and hopefully follow the following guidelines.

Do Not

1. Discuss issues that require involved and possibly sensitive comments when your children are present. They may be in another room in your home (or even asleep you think) but believe and know they can hear you.

2. Disrespect the other parent verbally or by actions. That is not only scary to your child, but it can also deliver a message that this is an acceptable style for them to copy.

3. Use a loud forceful tone when communicating in their presence. It is not only alarming, but in Maria’s case it was what she came to consider normal.

Do

1. Consider that you are you child’s role model and source of survival. Every action you take has an impact on them.

2. Show respect for your partner and your child at all times.

3. Draw on all resources you have (even professional help) to ensure your child’s life is as safe and secure as possible.

Be calm! Good Luck!

“We are more alike, my friends, than we are unalike” –Maya Angelou

The holiday season is usually a time when everyone taps into their generous nature, displays better understanding, kinder communication, and an overall feeling of love.

However this year when everyone is usually celebrating we are seeing a major shift in our country where we are being challenged by a life altering threat to our children.

We are hearing from the parents who are directly involved in the school system, that following the results of the recent election, most classes came to a standstill so children could share their experiences and circumstances.

They were emotionally distraught and seeking some reassurance and support that the threats they were hearing would never happen.

Thousands of our children are now living in fear that they will be separated from their families, possibly taken from the only country they have ever known and have all hope of a better future taken from them.

Each of these “at risk” children are “our” children. We have forever been united in our country’s desire and commitment for a better life for all of our children.

This is one of the critical areas where we are alike and we have to take all the steps necessary to ensure that they children are never denied a right they deserve.

As parents, we need to take an active role to support these children in every way possible and to get this message to everyone who may be instrumental in a positive solution.

Whatever happens to each of these children happens to all of us.

This must be the challenge where we are more alike in our desire to achieve positive results!