Holiday Joys And Pitfalls!

We have already begun the holiday journey that can be exhilarating, joyful, and rewarding while creating family memories that can be chronicled and drawn on for years, or you can experience a journey that will be regrettable and disappointing.

How do you ensure the first result will happen and not the second?

Do

1.Above all else, make sure your child is getting enough sleep. If they are still an infant and napping twice a day, try to schedule your activities so they can remain well rested. The same approach is successful with a child who is used to one nap a day. Keeping them up all day and then expecting them to go to bed earlier and make up for the loss of sleep rarely works.

2.Keep high sugar foods to a minimum! Contrary to some experts, sugar does have a negative impact on their behavior and their eating habits.

3.Always inform them before and activity exactly what is going to happen and what you expect of them. Share the names of people they may be meeting for the first time. Provide them with some information about them so they will already have a connection.

4.Space out your social schedule so they get a break inbetween.

5.Keep all plans age appropriate. It is hard for a child to spend more than an hour or so in an adult environment.

6.Plan as much time as possible in child friendly activities. They have already been excited about the holidays since Halloween, so make sure some of their time is low key and calm.

Do Not
1.Over plan activities so they feel they are on a treadmill. This may result in unacceptable behavior.

2.Spend too much time in the adult world.

3.Take them into busy shopping environments unless it is absolutely necessary. Always have a conversation about whether they can make a purchase. Be firm and calm about it.

4.Allow them to break any existing rules because this is holiday time, you will be opening a door to problems and also losing credibility.

5.Expect too much of yourself! You need rest too!

6.Hesitate to turn down an invitation when everyone is already tired.

With good planning and communication, holiday time can be an adventure with wonderful memories!

We will be back in the New Year!

Have a great holiday time!

Good Luck!

The Critical Importance Of 100% Consistency!

David was almost two. He was very verbal, independent, caring, and curious.

We began seeing a slight change in his behavior that escalated to a major change.

He suddenly wanted help with tasks he had always completed himself.

1.Putting away his blanket after nap.

2.Getting his shoes and socks and bringing them to a teacher to get minor assistance.

3.Feeding himself at lunch time.

4.Organizing games with his friends or independently entertaining himself.

He also began crying over insignificant issues, instead of talking.

1.When someone took a toy.

2.When he asked for something he could not have.

3.When he was required to complete a task he knew how to do.

4.When he wanted a toy someone else was using.

5.When he was taking a nap or waking up from a nap.

We discussed these issues with his mom who noted that many of these behaviors were occurring at home as well.

These behaviors continued until one day was his birthday party. He sat down at the lunch table and refused to eat without help. We reminded him that there was a planned party following lunch but no one could participate in the party if they did not finish their lunch.

Normally that reminder immediately changes the dynamic and the involved child begins to eat and the party goes on as planned.

In this instance, David absolutely refused and kept asking for help, kept crying, and was finally told that the party was cancelled and would be held the next day if he was then able to take care of his responsibilities.

I called the mom to alert her to what had happened and understandably she inquired whether I could make an exception since it was his birthday.

Fortunately I said that I could not break a rule since I would immediately undermine my own credibility.

When David returned the following day, he seemed calm, happy, amazingly sweet and more like his old self.

I reminded him that I had planned to have the birthday cake that day. He had to decide whether he wanted to be an “independent and positive boy” and eat all his lunch without assistance.

What happened next was the amazing part- absolutely no crying. He was super positive, happy and interactive. He not only returned to the child he had been, but actually a more mature and positive version.

A child will often regress and test when on the cusp of a big change, turning two was a big deal. He needed to know that even when he misbehaved, was unkind to his friends, and seemed to lose confidence, we make it clear we still loved him and could wait for him to feel safe in moving forward because we would love him even more.

Understand that your child may test the rules, resist his responsibilities, and challenge your directives when they are ready to move to a whole new level.

You have to let him know it is safe to challenge you, but you will remain in charge of what is best for him and welcome him when he understands that.

Know what matters to you. You are their teacher, their source of survival, and their main resource. They will want to please you when you are clear in your expectations and are consistent.

Kudos to his mom who shared with him that she had spoken to me and totally supported my actions.

It is a challenge but you can do it!

Good luck!

The Advantage and Joy Of Highly Developed Language Skills!

We have always placed a strong emphasis on communication.

Why?

1.Because we believe all children are capable of achieving that goal.

2.It makes interaction with an infant, toddler, and young child measurably more successful and rewarding.

3.Because we have proven that our approach benefits every single child and is transferable to any size group as well as an individual child.

How does it work?

1.Regardless of the child’s age, all caregivers (parents, nannies, relative, daycare workers) must communicate in concise, appropriate, clearly enunciated phrases and sentences every single time they speak.

2.Develop clear short phrases for frequently repeated actions and tasks.

3.Ensure all communication is grammatically correct.

4.Do not distort the language adding “ie” or “y” sounds to words. It is not make it sound cute, it is simply incorrect.

5.When a child is mispronouncing a word or making their statement difficult to understand, do not repeat what they said! Instead, say it again correctly. If they continue to try to enunciate correctly, stick with them and congratulate them when they improve.

6.Repeating an incorrect pronunciation of a word only confuses them, they are actually trying to imitate you!

A typical plan could be:

1.Set aside some time each day to practice sounds they may be challenged by. If a child has used any motions or devices to satisfy their sensory needs after the age of one i.e. pacifier, thumb or any soft item, they may be still sucking on, this actually may have delayed their tongue and oral cavity muscles from developing properly to support good speech skills. In this case you will need to work with them to reduce or discontinue these behaviors in order to help them achieve correct speech. A good resource is a CD called “Speechercise” by Twin Sisters Productions. We have used this before on some of our children.

2.Get in the habit of always using the correct words in order to broaden their vocabulary.

3.When they deliver any grammatically incorrect statement, this is how you handle is. Say, “This is how you say that” and have them repeat it correctly. It is amazing how quickly they catch on.
Apply this principle throughout the day. A major reward is how quickly they will successfully use these skills in their own verbal interaction.

Since you are already know that they are intelligent from the day they are born, you can expect them to sound intelligent if you make the educated investment in developing speech skills.

The best feedback we get is from our parents when their child is in a social situation with their peers.
Their confidence and skills always stand out, even to their own parents  as well as everyone in attendance.

The reward is everyone’s!