Every parent we have ever met wants to have a smart child and be a smart parent. Raising a child is the most important responsibility anyone will ever have and can provide the most pleasure and reward.
SMART PARENT/SMART CHILD is the revolutionary philosophy that all children are incredibly intelligent from the moment they are born. When parents have learned understanding, respect, highly developed communication and relationship skills and development related expertise, it is amazing what a child can accomplish and, in fact, each child will achieve his maximum potential.
Friday, March 21, 2014
Recently, I had the joy of a visit from my new grandson. At 8.5 months, he is really a delight of activity.
The first night they were with me, I offered to give his parents an opportunity to visit friends so I was taking care of him without much knowledge of his sleep pattern.
Three hours after he fell asleep, he woke up agitated, distressed and completely uncontrollable. Since I had no advance warning, I was thinking " sensitivity to something he had eaten", " constipation" or was it " habit".
When his parents returned, I discovered that, in fact, this was a nightly pattern which had started when he was 4 months old.
Like most parents, they responded to the middle-of-the-night wake-up by giving him attention i.e. changing his diaper, feeding him , giving him a pacifier, walking him, etc. They were prioritizing that they had a neighbor who definitely could be disturbed by his screaming.
For all parents with children not sleeping through the night ( 4 months and up):
1. Make sure the child has had plenty to eat for the last feed.
2. If he is at the early stages of teething, apply Hyland's teething gel, Hyland's teething tablets and Boiron camilia caplets before putting him to bed.
3. Make sure he is properly clothed for the current weather conditions.
4. Speak to your neighbors about your plan and enlist their support. You may want to start on the weekend nights since most people will not have to wake up early. It is very unlikely your neighbors will not be supportive.
5. Tell your cild before he is put to bed that if he cries, you are not coming in to his room and you will see him when he wakes up in the morning. To help him through the process, you should be informing him regarding what to expect on an ongoing basis for all situations and what is expected of him. He will become familiar with the language and your tone. Be firm and confident.
6. When he wakes up in the night, you must keep your word and not come in to his rescue. My grandson's Mom talked with him on the first night and he cried for one hour and seven minutes. She said it was torture for her. If either parent thinks they will not be able to hold out on the plan, it might be wise to stay in another part of the house or even elsewhere.
7. Guess what? The very next night, he did not wake up and, in fact, lasted until 6:25AM. They left him in his crib while he whimpered for a little bit. When his parents went in to get him, they told him it was morning and time to get up for the day. Because they have always been great communicators about what is happening, he was used to their language and their tone.
Every child may not respond quite so quickly, however I have never seen it take more than 4 nights. Do not forget to give your neighbors a Thank You gift ( bottle of wine is a favorite).
This situation is just one component of a successful parenting relationship with your child. Did I make it sound too easy? Not really.
Always communicate with each other and your child!
Do the right thing for you and your child!
Solve problems as soon as they happen!
You will have a much more rewarding experience as a parent!