When Theresa came to visit our daycare with her two and a half year old son Malcolm, her description of his behavior fit the profile of all the “out of control” child we have seen in public.
1.Screaming for something his parent keeps saying he can’t have and then being given that very thing.
2.Being carried by his parent, asleep on their shoulder at 2:30pm (Probably his nap time)
3.Showing up at 10:30 am with a baby bottle filled with milk.
4.A child that will only nap when he is driven around in a car.
During our conversation she shares that she never puts his needs first when planning her day. She finds herself mostly in crisis mode since she has never established a child friendly schedule, nor does she have clear and firm expectations for herself and her child.
She now admits that she never enjoys him no her role as a parent.
Fortunately for her, at two and a half years old the situation can be corrected with a new schedule compatible with his needs, clear guidelines, coaching skills, better planning and self-confidence that she can turn the situation around and have everyone on a positive path.
Do
1.Separate his physical needs and his emotional behavior.
2.Tell him he is a “big boy” and you will celebrate by eliminating all the “baby things.”
3.Chose a date-2 to 3 days later and tell him he will throw his bottle in the garbage (Preferably on garbage pickup day so it is not returnable.)
4.Establish a schedule that is realistic for his age.
a.Dress upon awakening (expect him to help)
b.Breakfast! Sit with him and share similar foods and dishes.
c.Morning time should be a combination of playtime, shopping or visiting and learning time. Be home in time to have lunch five to six hours after his morning awake time.
d.Share as much of the meal as possible. Make learning about new foods fun and exciting. If he rejects them, offer them again in a small quantity. Keep expanding his menu.
e.Naptime is a must- have reading time. Expect him to sleep at least ninety minutes so he will be refreshed for a positive afternoon.
f.If possible, be outdoors, especially in the afternoon. Set a schedule to learn new skills such as climbing up the slide, riding a tricycle. If you are indoors, puzzles are great, number games etc. as well.
g.Dinner is a family event. Have him share the same menu and share positive comments. This is not a time to report to the other parent on his day’s misbehaviors.
h.Give him responsibilities: Dress himself, help clean up and put his toys away, help set the table, put dirty clothes in the hamper etc.
Emotional issues
1.Tell him he cannot cry to get his way. Give him the language needed to express himself.
2.If he is crying or screaming, tell him to stop before you communicate with him. This is really important!
3.Tell him what is going to happen and what you expect of him.
4.Listen to him.
5.Keep your directives and requests short and clear. Repeat them exactly the same until he understands he has to do it.
6.Teach him respect for other people’s belonging and space.
You will be amazed at how interesting a two and a half year old is when they are communicated with, listen to, and taught.
Make sure when you are together, they are your priority. No telephone time with friends, no computer time. If you have to take a call, make it short.
You are their teacher. They will achieve the standards you set!
Good Luck!
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