Always Tell Them The Truth. Keep The Details Simple And Clear.

No matter how often it happens, I am always shocked and in disbelief at how easily, consistently, and calmly parents lie to their children.

Some scenarios:

1. Evan is picked up early from daycare. He has been told he is spending some time with his dad, when, in fact, they have an appointment at the pediatrician’s to receive three shots. We hear the next day that Evan’s dad has promised him a large new toy when Evan was out of control at the doctor’s office.

2. Maria does not like the baby sitter her parents have been leaving her with. The mom and dad really want to attend an event on the upcoming weekend, so they do not tell her that they are going out until the last minute and say there was an emergency. Needless to say, Maria is not only hysterical when they leave, she is awake and crying when they return.

3. Raymond tells his son that he will pick him up early from daycare so they can spend some time together. When Raymond finally shows up at 6:30 pm, he does not apologize and explain what happened, but he actually appears to think that it is not a big deal. 

There are many more examples, but this last one is indisputably the most common. It is so frequent we have no concept of the total count.

When this situation occurs, the parent will arrive to pick up their child at the regular time, or maybe even later, with no comment or explanation about the change in plans.

Not only has the child been repeatedly going to the glass doors to see if their parent is coming, but they have also repeatedly inquired of us why their parent has not arrived.

It is rare that the parent arrives with an apology, an explanation and a new date for an early pickup.

Hurt, anger, confusion and lack of trust and credibility are the results of any and all of these incidents.

If there is a legitimate reason you can not follow through on your plan, then call the daycare with the reason and the caregiver will inform your child. Or better yet, you can ask to speak to them yourself, however do not rely on this solution too often or they will catch on!

Parents have to earn their child’s trust, credibility and respect. Only if they do, will they enjoy a positive relationship. Your child’s respect for self and other, their empathy, honesty, and self-confidence is directly impacted by their relationship with you.

Everyone wants the best for their child. They have to live with high standards if they want that to happen.

The rewards are limitless!

Good Luck!