We hear horror stories from our friends and want to prevent her from becoming a difficult sleeper. Bringing into our bed is not an option!”
These parents have the right idea. They are seeking a solution to correct these problems before they become permanent and a serious threat to everyone having proper rest and a good night’s sleep.
Lets talk about the nap issue first. There is often a transition in terms of naps anywhere from ten to twelve months. She is right in the middle of this change.
If by 11:00am to 11:30am your child does not seem that tired, you may probably make the move to one longer afternoon nap instead of finding yourself battling with your child to get them to sleep in the morning.
Plan a calmer play schedule at this time, including reading so they are taking a breather. Lunch should then follow by noon and nap at one. They will be very tired by that time, have eaten well, and fall into a deeper sleep for two to two and a half hours or even longer.
Your child will be giving you signals about how much delay they can handle, so there will be some flexibility about exact times. Plan to be home when you are figuring this routine out so you will be able to determine how the plan is proceeding and turn it into a positive result.
If this plan is not working for you i.e. if they are so tired by lunch that they are not getting enough food or are too fussy and cross, then you may want to introduce a different strategy.
For example: Do some quiet reading for five to ten minutes and tell them that it will be naptime when you are done. Then put your child to bed with a clear directive that you will stay with your hand on their back until they are fully asleep. At this age they should be sleeping on their stomach which is more restful and less likely to stimulate play.
We have found this approach to work with everyone. Tell them that when they wake up, they should call for you and not be anxious.
Leave them as soon as they fall asleep.
This approach can work again for the afternoon nap. Make sure they have been up and active for at least three hours and again, begin with reading. They are usually more tired for this nap and will probably fall asleep sooner.
Now we have the challenge of your child waking up in the middle of the night.
Here is a typical scenario:
1. They wake up screaming and probably calling for you one night and you rush in to see what is wrong.
2. After reviewing the obvious
a.No fever
b.Is not puling at their ears
c.Did not do a BM
You realize that possibly nothing serious really happened. You are now somewhat undecided about what to do, but know that everyone has lost some valuable sleep.
3. You may decide you will somehow get them and yourself back to sleep and wait to see what happens next.
4. If it happens again the next night with no cause, you can determine you probably should move to the solution before it becomes a habit.
Tell your child before bedtime the next night that they are fine and need to sleep through the night without waking up. Also, that under no circumstances are you going to go into their room or verbally communicate with them.
The duration of this situation will depend on your child’s personality and whether you have a relationship with them so that they know you mean what you say.
If the answer to the above is positive , the behavior will change quickly, probably in one to two nights.
If you don’t, it will still work but may take longer.
I strongly recommend that you correct this situation quickly, otherwise it will leave everyone exhausted and it will become harder to make it through the day!
Take the best and most positive action for you and your child!
Good luck!
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