Lets Discuss One Of The Most Important And Frequent Statements We Make Every Day. “You cannot have what someone else is playing with”

Children, by nature, are survivors and are instinctively drawn to satisfying all their needs. This includes having any object they might desire that someone else has. 

This has been true forever and is often already a habit before they even join our day care.

Here are our recommended guidelines.

1.From the beginning there should be objects in their home that are not available to them such as electronic equipment, work related and valuable possessions.

2.Each of these items should be clearly identified and appropriate behavior explained. “This belongs to mommy and daddy, you cannot have it. Please do not touch it.” When they do not listen, simply remove them from the object, do not take it away.

3.They also cannot have items that someone else is using (including phones). “I’m sorry, but you cannot have daddy’s phone. This is not a toy”

4.If they take it away, simple state “May I have that back? You play with toys, this is my phone.” If there is no response, repeat the above. When still not followed, take the phone back from them. “I am sorry, you may not have this” and be firm.

5.Arrange playdates with one other child. It is wise to have that child’s parent agree with you parenting approach so everyone can be on the same page.

6.Do not allow the child’s strangle hold or tears to dissuade you. When that happens, repeat the request three times and then take it away with “I will have to take this away from you. You need to listen”.

You, as a parent, are their most important teacher and influence in terms of your child’s socialization. When a child is not taught at home it makes the adjustment to the larger social influence much harder and can create a situation when other children do not want to play with them.

Your main role is as a loving educator. Their social development begins at home where sharing and caring begin. When you are effective, it makes your child’s adjustment to a larger world so much easier and rewarding. It practically guarantees they will be happy in the larger world they have to navigate on their own.

Prepare them well!

Good luck!