How Did We Figure Out Why Bryan, Our Happy Eighteen Month Old Was Suddenly Having Uncontrollable Tantrums?

From the time we shared Bryan’s story in an earlier blog (which you can read here), we were determined to help our independent, self-assured and confident child deal more effectively with whatever conditions were so strong that he was unable to control his reactions.

Bryan is still limited verbally, he says about 20 words, enunciating clearly, but cannot express himself when he is upset. This made resolution particularly challenging.

We knew there was probably going to be more than one factor, but we were hoping to figure out what the main one was.

After a full week at day care and two weekends at home, a significant pattern emerged. One day at 10:25 am, he left his playtime activity and went to get a chair from one of the tables and take it to the area where morning snack is served.

I reminded him that snack would not be for another five minutes, so could he please return the chair.

He not only refused to comply but, surprisingly, threw the chair. This action was repeated three times.  At each occurrence, he was more upset and by this time, he was screaming and crying.

We took a moment to realize that almost all his tantrums had to do with food, particularly the lack of it.

1. He was particularly vulnerable at outside playtime prior to lunch.
2. He was often upset prior to snack time.
3. He would sometimes have a tantrum if we expected him to put on his socks and shoes and have his diaper changed after nap before he had a drink of milk.

We knew he was getting healthy, nutritious food at home and at daycare so the problem was probably quantity.

Do

1. We reviewed his breakfast menu and recommended that it be doubled.
2. We doubled his morning snack so he could maintain his energy through playtime before lunch.
3. He always was a big lunch eater, but we increased the amount of protein he was getting. We have always provided seconds when requested and continued to do so.

Pay attention to the circumstances that occur prior to a meltdown and determine if there is a pattern. We were fortunate that this became so obvious and was a relatively easy fix.

Do Not

1. Assume you have addressed all the behavioral issues that occur as your child is trying to figure out how to best survive in life.
2. Forge that they are progressing at a rapid rate physically, emotionally and intellectually. Stay tuned in.

This solution has solved 90% of the tantrum issue. There are still moments when he does not want to listen, wants his own way, or shows signs of fatigue and lack of emotional control.

We are still tuned in to him to also help him resolve all of the above situations in a positive, productive way.

Good luck!