Why Would An Eighteen Month Old Child Suddenly Start Having Tantrums?

Bryan is a terrific child. He is full of energy, constantly learning new play skills, and even sometimes expecting to display skills that he is not tall enough/advanced enough for i.e. pedaling a bigger tricycle or doing a more complex puzzle. He has been easy to satisfy by diverting him to something that is more challenging, but still possible with some practice.

He arrives at our day care one morning with an exhausted mother having just had a fifteen minute tantrum, not only for the first time, but for a reason she cannot figure out.

We hear on the following Monday that the previous weekend was the most challenging ever for the parents: with tantrums at meal time, play time and bed time. They feel that the situation will be out of control soon if they do not take action.

Bryan’s parents are very wise to seek advice. Everyone talks about the “Terrible Twos”, but in fact whatever behaviors and expectations that are a problem at two actually started much sooner and were not resolved. In most cases they probably began before eighteen months.

Most parents do not believe children can understand and correct behavior at an early age. Most children are frustrated and angry because they are not being listened to and their needs are not being met. The result is that by two years old both sides are dealing mostly with frustration and unresolved issues.

Do

1. Pay very close attention to identify what conditions are triggering the tantrum.

2. Tell your child what is going to happen and what behavior you expect from them.

3. Once they become verbal, tell them what they should have said and have them repeat it. This will dramatically reduce their frustration and reinforce the message that they should resolve issues verbally.

4. Begin at  appropriate stages after their first birthday to edit their toys, books, and activities so they are challenging and stimulating.

5. Consider that by at least 18 months their high chair should be adjusted so they can join the family at the table with unbreakable versions of the family tableware.

6. Assign your child some personal and family tasks.

7. Recognize that by the time you figure out one developmental stage, your child is already ready to move on to the next one.

8.Look back on earlier blogs here to help you through other daily challenges.

Do not

1.Underestimate what your child can understand and the level of their intelligence.

2.Allow your child to have their way when they have a tantrum.

3. Underestimate your role in establishing clear guidelines, boundaries and well defined values and expectations.

Good Luck!