Mother’s Day is always when I spend extra time reviewing and analyzing the status of that most important of relationships.
The last year has been one in which that bond was the focus of the children’s behavior, more so than usual.
A few of our moms have taken on significantly more responsibility in their professional lives. This has had a measurable effect on the time available for them to spend with their child.
It took us a while to also become aware that the change was not only a time issue, but also a quality one.
Some patterns developed:
1. The children were having a hard time leaving their mom when being dropped off at daycare. They would do thing such as: requesting additional hugs, hang on to them, requesting an early pickup, being read to before departure, standing at the sliding glass door and watching until they disappeared. These were all new behaviors.
2. These children also displayed anger issues such as screaming to get attention, breaking down their friend’s building structures or games, biting their nails or skin, and generally becoming somewhat hostile vs. the friendly children they had been.
3. When their circumstances became more intolerable, they began transferring some of their loss feelings to their teachers. This behavior has been a reoccurring approach, over the years, when a child wants something fixed at home and needs our help.
4. The most sad and disturbing situation I experience was a mom requesting that she spend Mother’s Day alone as her gift. The dad and children had to leave their home for the day. I can’t imagine what the children were thinking. Alarmingly, it was the first thing we were told the next day.
We have always shared with our parents that the quantity of time they spend with their children is important, but the quality is critical.
Especially when the quantity is reduced and limited, moms must not allow anything to interfere with their time together.
1. No phone
2. No computer
3. No friends
4. No distractions
Most children need the first 4 to 5 years to really create a lifelong bond with their mom. They are much clearer on their place in the world.
I am always applauding my moms when I see and know that the time they spend with their children is truly meaningful, setting an example and building their self esteem.
Our future is in your hands! Handle it with love and care!