How Do We Get Our Two Year Old To Stop Getting Out of His “Big Boy Bed”? We Haven’t Had a Good Night’s Sleep In Two Months!

The emergency call came from Paul on night on his way home from work, the previous night was the last straw!

Gabriel was still awake at 11:30pm. He got out of bed, went to the refrigerator, took out a bottle of water and came into their room.

All Paul could say is “We are DONE! We need your help.”

The background was that shortly after Gabriel turned two he had figured out how to crawl out of his crib. Paul and Maren had not actually considered getting him a big bed but felt what he was doing was dangerous. There was a strong likeliness that he would hurt himself.

They could not remember exactly how they prepared him verbally for the new responsibility. It sounded like there were a lot of conversations about all the possibilities that could occur and no clear message to Gabriel regarding the guidelines and rules.

As an experienced parent might predict, he immediately came up with any and all of the emergencies he could think of. He needed another drink, he had a B.M. in his diaper, he needed a hug, etc. etc. etc. He quickly escalated the situation. Instead of calling for them, he was coming in their room, or to wherever they were.

They were lucky during those two months if they got to sleep before 11:30pm. Also, as is often the case, he was waking up earlier than usual and coming to their room.

In their case, they had always closed his bedroom door and relied on a monitor for information and security. Locking the door was not an option.

I immediately advised them to get a security gate that he could not climb, and to establish clear expectations and rules.

After their usual bedtime routine which already included a good night hug, there is no further interaction. Period!!! No matter what he calls for, they will not answer, even if he has done a B.M. He was reminded that he used to do a B.M. during the day so he could revert to that schedule or wait until morning for a diaper change. As a precaution they place a heavy cream on his skin to prevent a rash.

Under no conditions could they respond or enter the room. 

  

Their final goodnight was: “You are a big boy, and this is why we bought you a big boy bed. It is bedtime and we are not coming into your room no matter what. We love you and know you can do this!”

Then I instructed them to leave the room and to not say or do anything!

I was hesitant to follow up too soon since as I was unsure what their time frame was to implement this plan. They had to purchase and install the gate as well as really trust that they could pull this off.

On Sunday (3 days later) there was a message on my machine when I returned home.

It was Maren. “I can’t believe that our nightmare is over. It took one night! Unbelievable! For the first time in weeks I went to work on Saturday (she is an EMT) having a good night’s sleep. Thank you! Thank you!”

Children need boundaries and clear guidelines, especially when they are being expected to make a major transition.

The major mistakes that are often made are because the parents do not believe their child will be able to handle the responsibility. They communicate too much information and often feel guilty that they are expecting too much.

Your child is highly intelligent and will follow directions and rules when they are clearly states and followed upon! Everyone benefits! 

If you have a specific problem that you would like advice on, leave it in the comments down below!