Some of the most common causes of parental guilt we see:
Work
You either work away from home or at home. Either way, you made a conscious choice to do so either out of necessity or preference. The first choice will probably mean you see them less and the second will probably mean you often need a break.
In the first situation (working outside the home) you want to be totally present when you are with your child. Business communication cannot be when you are together, no phones or computers! Schedule work during bedtime or naptime.
In the second situation you need some time apart to take care of your needs. Try to makes these times consistent.
In both cases, communicate clearly what the plan is. Be comfortable with your life choice, decisions, and discipline yourself to be in the moment.
When you take this confident and mature approach, you do not need to let guilt creep in.
Being late for a pickup
You promise your child you will pick them up from daycare and then your supervisor calls for a meeting at 3pm and you finally arrive at the daycare late.
Call the daycare as soon as you get the news and make sure that your child is advised of the change.
By the time you arrive, you need to have put together an alternative plan. For example instead of 3 hours at the park and ice cream, it can be one hour at the park and pizza for dinner.
Communicate the change positively and move on to enjoy.
Do
-Always respect your child’s need to know what is happening and what is expected of them. I often compare these situations to how you treat your best friend.
-Have well defined behavior standards and boundaries for you and your child.
-Know that they will respond positively when they are treated with respect.
-Apply this approach to all the similar circumstances that may occur in your life.
Do Not
-Ever let your guilt turn to anger for yourself or your child.
-Act until you can proceed with a solution calmly.
Take a deep breath and know you can do the right thing under any circumstances!
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