Parent Alert! Your Words Are A Message To Your Child Every Time You Speak!

There have been so many instances lately when parents have made statements that are influencing their child in impactful ways that probably contradict what the parent says are the values they are teaching their child.

I have observed and been shocked and saddened when I hear a parent lie to their child:
1. It could be about what time they will be picked up.
2. Where they are going, when in reality they have a doctor’s appointment.
3. When there is a baby sitter picking them up so they won’t have to deal with the child being upset.

The fact that these situations are ongoing is of grave concern the parent not only loses credibility with their child but it creates also great anxiety and possibly leads to the child also not telling the truth.
However, the scene I witnessed over the weekend was infinitely more disturbing for several reasons.

I was enjoying a light breakfast at a popular supermarket when a dad and 2 year old daughter sat at the next table.

Nothing warms my heart more than seeing a dad with a young child. The fact that it was a girl was a little special for me.

The dad had purchases a full breakfast plate of eggs, bacon potatoes and toast. The child had a yogurt with fruit. They engaged in a meaningful conversation while he prepared the fruit by cutting it into small sections. They both began eating.

She noticed that he had bacon and asked for a piece. The dad responded that this was real bacon and she could not have any.

After several more requests the dad relented, giving a medium sized piece with the warning “You can’t tell mommy about this!” while she quickly ate it up.

Predictably, she stopped eating her yogurt and fruit and repeatedly requested more bacon. The dad began rushing to finish eating his meal so he could put an end to the incident. Sadly they also stopped communicating.

Why am I so upset with the scene?
1. The dad told his child to lie to her mother. This is within the family unit which should be “as one” at all costs.
2. The dad probably realized that since his daughter knew how to say “bacon” she conceivable would mention something at home, that he would have to answer for.
3. The dad should have realized that what he had done was very serious and corrected himself by saying “We will have to tell mommy what we did, that was my mistake”.

I did not hear that, but I hope for the child’s sake it happened.  I wonder that if I had asked that dad whether he wanted his daughter to grow up and be honest, he would have responded that he did. He probably would have been hurt if I asked.

But the facts speak otherwise and the facts matter.

Parents speak otherwise and the facts matter!

Parents need to realize that they are the source of their children’s values. Behavioral standards, rules and guidelines.

Every statement matters!

Think before you speak!

Note: A blog will not be posted again until the week of 10/15. My marketing manager is off to take a reol in a feature film. We are wishing him good luck!