1. Maria and Anne were both cared for during the day by their dad during their first two years while he worked from home as a writer for various television series. He expected them to be quiet for extended periods of time, and specifically stated that it was very important that he completed his assignments and they were not to interrupt him. At the same time, their mom worked for a large corporation in a very demanding position and spent long hours away from them including frequent travel.
2. Rebecca’s parents are working from home as marketing managers for several organizations. They thought they could block out work time when she was napping or in bed for the night. They quickly realized that this schedule was not predictable nor was it giving them enough time to meet their commitments. She was often left in her playpen for extended periods and had very little verbal or physical interaction with them. This created several areas of delayed development.
3. Andy’s mom works from home as a marketing manager and employs four people. This group utilized some designated workspace in the home but often had to expand into the family living space to accommodate some larger projects. When that happened, Andy had very little space that he could share exclusively with his single mom. Everyone on staff found themselves pitching in to care for him on an "as needed" basis. By the time he began coming to our daycare at 2 and a half years old, it was already evident that he was frantic for her time and approval and would be almost inconsolable when she left him.
What has happened in each of these situations?
Infants, as well as young children, need the on demand attention of an available, caring parent, or an experienced caregiver. If the parent is employed at home, they are unavailable to meet and satisfy their child’s full time needs.
It is particularly confusing and frustrating for a child to know the parent is at home but is unavailable to them.
We have witnessed extreme reactions, aggressive behavior, self-destructive behavior, anger, and silence. Any or all of these are already being demonstrated by the time they come to daycare.
Since they have often experienced less social interaction, they may show signs of withdrawal or extreme aggression.
In each example the child required specialized care, and in Andy’s case, he had to be placed in a special needs environment because of his aggressive behavior towards the other children.
If having a full time nanny is not an option, you need to arrange for part time care, or have part time work. It is that important to the health and development of your child.
They need to feel loved and care for in order to develop physically, psychologically, and emotionally!
Two years of neglect is hard to make up, give them your time and love!
It matters!
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