Any one of these items can be a great benefit during your
child’s first year. However, when they are still relying on them any longer,
they can become a crutch that delays development and are very difficult to take
away.
The First Year:
During the first six month of your infant’s life, it is very
possible that they will require some additional “sucking” over and above the
amount they are getting from the actual bottle feeding or nursing.
During this period they may already be sucking on their thumb,
finger, or the back of their hand. It is wise to realize that you should provide
them with a substitute for the use of any part of their hand. If you don’t, it
is very likely they will continue this habit well past their first year. By
then, it can be most challenging to distract them from that habit or substitute
it.
Two very important conditions need to be in place:
1.
You can provide them with a pacifier five to ten
minute after they have completed their liquid intake.
2.
You can use the pacifier or blankie to help them
go to sleep at bedtime.
Following these rules will allow you to discontinue their
use on your child’s first birthday when you discontinue nursing or bottle
feeding.
Part of the process is to talk to them about it before it
happens. It is rare that it takes more than a few days for them to adjust and
very rare that they begin sucking their thumb, fingers, or hand at that age as
a substitute.
Make sure they are tired, but not overtired when placed in
their bed. This can add a challenge to the process.
All of this comes under the heading of satisfying an “infant’s”
need, but not allowing it to become a “child’s” habit.
The Second Year:
If you have not stopped your child’s dependence and are into
their second year, the situation can change significantly.
1.
There is no longer a clear date when you should
make the change. Most parents justify every reason for continuing their child’s
new dependence of a sucking or a soothing prop:
·
They aren’t feeling well.
·
We are traveling soon.
·
We moved to a new home.
·
They cried for two days without it.
-You are now using the props during the day and significantly
expanding their impact on your child.
-This additional use can have a negative effect on their
speech, both in terms of its growth and enunciation. The tongue and muscles are
being impeded from developing in support of great verbal skills, in some cases
it can cause a lisp.
-They are being told by this process to be quiet during a
time they should be:
·
Learning to speak.
·
Developing skills to deal with their emotional
experiences.
·
Socializing with other children.
·
Learning the verbal skills to communicate their
needs, both positively and negatively.
We all know about the importance of physical development in
the second year, but it is just as important, maybe even more so, that they
develop skills to deal with their emotional issues.
Hopefully you will realize now how to help them give up
their emotional attachment to any of these dependent habits.
With their involvement, selected a day no more than a week,
when your garbage collection occurs.
Explain to them that they will wrap up the bottles,
pacifiers, blankies ect. In a bag and place it in the garbage continuation the
night before or the morning of the garbage pickup.
Ideally, they need to watch the garbage truck actually pick
up the container with their bag.
Join them in saying good bye and remind them that they items
are no longer needed.
Important! For your sake, do not retain any of these items
in the house. In a moment of weakness, you may want to resurrect one to soothe
your child if they demonstrate any distress. Please do not go there! It may set
back their dependency in definitely and you will be retaining these items or
replacing them with alternate ones.
Focus on helping them mature and verbalize their feelings successfully
as well as their interactions.
You are off on a growth pattern for life!
Good luck!
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