We already knew that the philosophy that was the basis of our daycare program (that children are intelligent from the minute they are born) was a perfect environment for implementation of a non-violent program.
It was obvious and challenging that we had an expectation of our children that most of our parents did not. There was much questioning about how we were going to approach that.
We outlined the following playtime rules.
1.There would be no violent toys in the daycare i.e. guns, swords, military equipment.
2.The children could not make violent toys i.e. Duplos turning into guns, sticks used as swords, trucks and cars used to harm.
3.No shooting sounds used during playtime.
4.No violent words i.e. kill, hit, hate as part of a game or interaction.
5.No use of any toy to hurt another child or as a weapon.
6.Initially, it was a major challenge since most of the children did not have these restrictions during the rest of their day.
As we expected, we were required to take a very creative role and suggest all of the fun, interesting, constructive ways they could play instead.
1. Play family
2. Build neighboring houses.
3. Create playgrounds, skyscrapers, zoos and schools.
4. Cook meals.
5. Take trips with their dolls.
6. Answer 911 calls and put out fires.
7. Visit their relatives and play games.
What has resulted is a whole new vocabulary and a much more educated, creative form of play.
Not surprisingly, they still are tempted to transform to their “away from daycare games”.
Each one of the times these instances occur draws a reminder from us that violent play is not acceptable. “Think of something fun to do.”
We also have taken the same approach with our corrective action.
1.Children are never bad. They may break a rule, not listen or have hurt a friend; we state whichever one of these situations is appropriate and make sure they understand.
2.They cannot hit, bit or kick/push a friend because “it hurts”.
3.They cannot grab a toy because “it is not theirs”. The child who had the toy says, “May I have that back please, it is mine” This may have to be repeated and if not done, it is followed up with the teacher saying, “Please give him back his toy”. Should the involved child lack the appropriate verbal skills for this communication, then the teacher will take that role so the child can learn the correct approach.
Injuries are also handled with a positive, realistic approach, and not something the child may use to get attention.
1.Band-Aids are not provided unless the skin is broken or bleeding.
2.Injuries are treated both calmly and appropriately. If first aids is required, it is done and the child is involved in the care as much as possible. Injuries are neither downplayed nor exaggerated, nor treated as a form of over the top attention.
3.If a child has been injured by another child, it is treated as a discussion on responsibility and concern. The aggressive child will play a role in aiding the injured child.
In all cases these instances serve as a reminder that we solve our disagreements with words, not with fists or objects.
One of the ongoing challenges to a non-violent commitment can be when you and your child attend a public event. This is especially true of birthday parties. It is wise to have a discussion prior to attending; you should share with your child how you will handle the situation if there are violent toys and how you expect them to act.
I hope many of you are already taking this approach and if not, find value in it. If you want your child to be kind, empathetic, respectful of everyone, and who they are, the seeds of that belief should be planned when they are young.
Good luck!
No comments:
Post a Comment