Thomas arrives at daycare after lunch to pick up his daughter. Several of the children ask where she is going. Thomas responds that Cheryl (his daughter) has a doctor’s appointment. When one of the children specifically inquires whether she is going to get a shot, Thomas tries to move quickly out the door and places his finger over his lips as a sign to the questioning child to please be quiet and that he also intends not to answer that question.
Later that same day, Ronald mentions that his dad is picking him up early so they can go to the museum. It happened that the two previous days he had to be picked up by a family friend instead of his parents. He was really looking forward to this special time with his dad.
His dad finally arrived at 6:40pm. This particular day all the other children had been picked up by 6:00. When Ronald greeted his dad with the comment “I thought you were picking me up early” his dad’s reply was “This is early!”
These two situations are slightly different but cause the same result.
1. Both parents show disrespect for their child by lying to them. The first was by omission and the second was by commission.
2. Both parents are establishing a relationship of mistrust, hurt feelings, loss of credibility and confusion.
Every parent is not only the source of values, behavior standards and boundaries, but is also their child’s most important role model.
Do
-Always tell your child the truth.
-Provide them with the details that will directly affect them.
-Prepare them for situations that could possibly be traumatic or painful. For example, regarding Cheryl’s visit to the doctor, her dad could say “You are scheduled to have a shot and it is probably going to hurt. It’s ok if you cry, I will be right there with you. Your mom and I are providing you with protection so you will never have (Whatever the shot was for).” Cheryl will probably talk about it all the way to the doctor’s office. Reassure her. She could still be upset when it happens, but she will know you told her the truth!
-In the second case, always admit it when you have not kept a promise. Ronald’s dad should have done two things. Called our daycare as soon as he realized he was not going to be able to keep his promise, and apologized to Ronald when he arrived.
Depending on his schedule, he needs to select another date to keep that commitment. He needs to make sure to block out that time on his schedule because it is the most important thing he has to do.
Do not
-Delude yourself that it doesn’t matter what you tell your child, that they will “probably forget it anyway”.
-Treat them as less important than your other business and personal responsibilities, they’re number 1!
-Never lie to them or to anyone else when they are present.
Think of it this way, if a friend or co-worker or business associate treated you this way, would you respond this way or be silent? Probably not!
Treat your child as the most important responsibility you have in your life. Good luck!
No comments:
Post a Comment