So when they exceed our expectations it is truly an affirmation of their ability and their sense of pride and confidence in themselves.
Some of our recent favorites:
1. When a nineteen month old has made up her mind that she wants to be toilet trained, but thinks she can do it standing up like her brother. It is interesting to see her process the message that she has to do it like her mom and not her brother. After days of going through this process incorrectly, she finally looked at me and said “okay” got the stool herself and sat on the toilet. There were high fives all around for her performance.
2. When my son and his family, including a three year old boy, are visiting and challenged by a puzzle they have selected to do together, a three and a half year old offers to help. They are blown away by her confidence and skill. They spend an entire dinner engagement talking about the experience with friends.
3. We have a five year old and a four and a half year old who are both so anxious to read that we provided them with a set of “Bob Books” to take home and practice their skills. This afforded them more time to practice than we have at our daycare. Last week I decided to have them read to the rest of the group. Not only were they confident, perfect and proud, but their performance excited the other children so much they are requesting more reading time for themselves.
All of you have similar experiences as the ones we shared. It is really important that you applaud your child when you witness one. This is one of the best building blocks of self confidence.
But it is also important that you reward yourself! Some combination of skills, knowledge and communication has allowed your child to step out of the box and challenge themselves with great success.
This message is particularly directed at moms who tend to be critical of their abilities and performance and rarely give themselves any reward.
It’s mother’s Day! Time to look on the bright side of your performance and accept some of the credit for the skills, knowledge and confidence your child has.
You are working full time at home or outside of the home while you are raising your child. The hardest challenge ever!
Have a Happy Mother’s Day!